I realize not everyone, and probably not anyone, wants to hear my thoughts on pregnancy bellies but if you were anything like a pregnant woman, you would be thinking about this at least a couple of times per day. So either go ahead, or skip it!
I am at that awkward stage of pregnancy where my belly either looks like I'm (maybe?) pregnant, or I just have a fat belly. To be honest, it's probably a combination of both. But you know, it's before your pants don't fit, but after you have to start wearing drape-y shirts to hide the awkward little bump and it's not really working anymore.
As a person who is generally comfortable in her own skin, I find the sudden obsession with how big my belly looks a bit disconcerting. Why do I have to suddenly change five times in the morning before I am happy with how I look? I want my belly to get bigger so that I look pregnant instead of fat, but I also don't want this to happen too soon and look like I'm more pregnant than I really am. I really would prefer to just stay skinny and then bam! Around month 7 or 8 look pregnant with the big (but not too big) belly. You know, just a cute little 'basketball' belly as we all have heard it called, which is so rare but so coveted.
So why do I care now when I don't generally care at other times? I think maybe pregnancy puts my feminine hormones into overdrive, and women tend to obsess about weight in general, so maybe I'm more womanly now. But I think it's a problem of mixed messages that women constantly get when pregnant: From the doctor, don't gain more than 20-25 pounds max (most of those at the end term). From peers: It's ok to gain more than that, you're growing a baby! From the radio (heard it a few days ago: Isn't such and such celebrity just the cutest little pregnant lady? From husband: You aren't fat honey, you are large with child... which is so sweetly meant, but translation to a woman: You have a reason to be FAT. From health experts: Eat a, b, and c in plenty, but avoid d, e, and f unless you want your baby to be born sick. Geez, with all this talk, of course women obsess when pregnant, probably more so than any other time. Or is it just me?
The only reason I write my thoughts now, is because I'm supposed to be blogging for our family personal history, and I think I'd like my girls to one day realize that even though I will try to teach them to have a positive body image and self love, that we all have down days, especially us ladies. For me, those days are pregnancy, and definitely, more acutely, post-pregnancy in the weeks and months that you have a much saggier softer middle, where basically it feels like your newborn can snuggle down into a blob of smooshy warm dough for a nice nap. And even though I know it's wrong, I eat ice cream almost every day right now, for some unquenchable reason (although interestingly, although I usually love Oreos, I pretty much can't stand them right now). I also try to make sure I'm eating all the right things throughout the rest of the day for good nutrition so I can cheat every single day. Yeah, I know no one advises that. But hey.
Maybe I should post a pregnant selfie of my belly right now. Um, maybe not. That's for the 'cute little pregnant ladies' with basketball bellies! But, in the interest of posterity's curiosity, I do have two photos hidden away somewhere on a hard drive of my belly on the night before Jane was born, and a few days before Evie came, at my hugest. Which is more enormous, the belly or the responsibility to keep a record? :) The second, obviously (to me), which must be huge.
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