In February this year, my architect benefactor friend informed me that he no longer wanted to keep the office space he had rented and allowed me to keep my showroom there. I don't blame him, his work was keeping only himself busy, and I have not been much interested in work of any kind whatsoever for the past several months. I do love what I do, but I also feel this pull to be at home instead. So I did do cabinetry related work, but as little as I could get away with.
But the office thing did lead to a long internal deliberation as to what I should do and how to get there. I knew I couldn't afford the office space on my own, or even if I could, if it was an office space I was willing to pay for (awkward triangular space and too much square footage). I started to look for spaces but not too hard, because the costs are prohibitive! My car broke down and needed extensive repairs, so I didn't have a car most days to just go around looking. I am still half-heartedly looking for a space for my cabinetry display. But here was the dilemma; I don't make very much money doing cabinetry, I could, but I don't, because I choose to spend more time at home. So rent was going to eat up any potential profit I might have had, and I would need to look at expanding my volume somehow. My income isn't much but it is necessary to pay for our current standard of living (my income buys groceries, clothing, outings, medical expenses, and extras). That's a pickle to be in; can't afford to work, can't afford not to. To add to the situation, I found out in February that I was pregnant (due in mid-October). What will having a new baby do to my desire to keep up a part time job with the added stress of being the owner? I can only think that I want to give up my work and concentrate on family life. But another part of me is saying, don't give it up, you've worked so hard to get to this point and you've got a good thing going with some of these builders. Besides, this may not be an option for me. Extra money is not just for luxuries, it is for the basics, and we need the income even in this small little house and for the cheap food we eat and the cheap clothes we wear and the paid-in-full vehicles we drive, and health insurance (which we only picked up recently). Besides that, how are we going to manage to pay off the hospital bills for this new baby? So a lot of fears, and a lot of uncertainties with what the future holds. But I almost feel as if I am an expert at this now, because we've had to deal with it in the past when Jeff and I both lost our jobs in the same year, in the same hard-hit design industry. I figured; we lived with my parents then, and we pulled through. It's time to do that again. Not only to move out temporarily, but for good. The house we have now is wonderful in many ways, and I don't yet feel cramped. We finally got it to a point where I feel the rooms are decorated and finished nicely. But the appeal of a larger open living space, for my family AND a showroom (I sell cabinets so why not deck out the new house in cabinets?) and saving the potential money on commercial office rent won me over. There are other reasons to move. Even if I decide not to work, Jeff needs to be closer to where he works (right now in South Charlotte but hopefully soon in Huntersville). I would like to be closer to Mom so I'm not shuttling Jane all over the place, wasting a lot of time going back and forth from Cornelius. Jane is old enough that I've started to envision what kind of backyard space will be best for her... I'd love a wooded lot with natural shaded play space, and spots to explore and imagine. I'd love to be able to raise some chickens. Be a little more secluded from neighbors (not asking much, just a little privacy in my own backyard). Space for a puppy to run around. Closer to 77, and closer to the places we eat, shop, and play. Jeff's parents visited and offered to help us out financially to get us into a better home. So everything considered, we feel it is time to move on, but don't know where or how we will afford it yet. With Jeff's new job starting soon, he has some potential to make more money. The baby will be here in October. We are going to move out, but keep our original plan of keeping the house and renting it out to prepare for our own retirement. We will live with my parents until the baby comes, and not make any huge decisions until our lives have a chance to play themselves out this coming year. Plus, I am hoping to help mom clean up their home while we live there. I was unsuccessful with this the last time we lived there, but I am hoping it will be a win-win situation for all involved, including Jane and the new baby, because Nana will be there to help me make the transition from one to two.
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