Today as I was driving home the babysitter, we got to chatting about things like siblings, school and seminary, friends, the things she enjoys, etc. Normal things that I completely relate to because I remember being that age, as though it were just yesterday. I realize by saying that, I am officially old. But my thinking wandered and this is basically how it went:
"Wow, I can't believe that in a few years she'll be off getting married and starting her own little family. (Don't we ALL do this at wedding receptions and reunions, we always make a big fuss over who's grown up so big, etc.)
"In a few more years beyond that, she'll come back to visit her parents and she'll see Jane again and remark how crazy fast she's grown and that she can't believe that's the same little baby girl she used to babysit.
"And a few more years beyond that, she may be asking MY kid to babysit HER kid.
"Then give it a few more years and MY kid will be getting married and starting her own little family and will come back to visit me (by now Grandma) and remark how crazy it is that the kid she used to babysit is all grown up into a big kid."
And so on and so forth. You get the drift. Now I know we usually look at aging as a generational type thing. At least I do. Like... one day I'll have kids and then I'm old. After that, one day I'll be a grandma and then I'm old. After that, great grandchildren. You know, 20 year chunks of time. The babysitter analogy just seems to break up time for me in a way that makes me realize that I am aging, and aging fast. I mean, really, kids grow up so fast and we always say this, but we are aging just as quickly, so it's easier to see how fast when we compare it to something in our kids' lives, like babysitting. So to illustrate this, I've set up a little timeline below, although not all steps come for everyone in the same order. But you get the idea. Where do YOU fall on the 'Babysitter' timeline?
1. You have a babysitter.
2. You babysit for others.
3. Your old babysitter has grown up and had a child.
4. Your old babysitter hires a babysitter.
5. The kids you used to babysit are babysitting for others.
6. You grow up and have a child.
7. Your kids have a babysitter.
8. The kids you used to babysit grow up and have children.
9. The kids of the kids you used to babysit have a babysitter.
10. Your old babysitter's kids are babysitting for others.
11. Your kids are babysitting for others.
12. Their old babysitter is grown up with a child.
13. Their old babysitter hires a babysitter.
14. The kids your kids used to babysit are now babysitting for others.
15. Your kids grow up and have a child.
16. Your kids' kids have a babysitter.
17. The kids that your kids used to babysit grow up and have children.
18. The kids that your kids used to babysit hire babysitters.
19. Your kids' kids babysit for others.
20. Etc.
(Eventually you will repeat step 2 for your aging parents, and finally step 1, your kids for you. Ah the great circle of life!).
I think it is safe to conclude that if you have grandchildren that are babysitting age, then you are getting old enough that you don't want to count any higher. So I'll be kind here and end it. But see the point? I can promise you it boggled my mind to write that list, and that the word babysitter was written so many times it started to look like a foreign word or misspelled. I am between steps 9 and 10! So it's time for me to quit running into grown up kids that I used to babysit and marvel at how old they've gotten, or that they are getting married or having babies or whatever. It's time to own up to the fact that I am getting old just as fast as they are.
This little exercise also proves to me that while childhood seemed like a long eternity (because I still feel like a child in many ways), in fact it was only a short timespan. But your childhood stays with you your whole life, despite how brief. I need to spend these important years shaping my child's view of the world and building memories for her.
Of course I knew all of this before. But it's nice to have a chat with a teenage babysitter and see the generations mapped out in quick succession before her. Oh what the future holds for her! Oh, what the future holds for me!
Friday, September 13, 2013
Sunday, September 8, 2013
Happy Birthday! Jane turns 2!
We had a birthday week! First up was a family Sunday celebration at our home for Erik, me and Jane. Well, mostly it was about Jane. She somehow picked up on what a birthday cake was weeks before now, so it was the cutest to hear her say 'birthday cake' over and over again and get really excited. She even got the hang of blowing out the candles, although we had to re-light several times.
On Wednesday, her actual birthday, I let her open a present from Jeff and I but that's about it. We spent some time with Jane's friend Stella in the morning, playing everything from princesses to noodles to 'nap time', then later that day helping a friend clean.
We also went swimming. Lately when I ask if she wants to go swimming, Jane will start saying "Mermaid, swimming." When Jeff asks her to swim she'll say "Mermaid." So I think she's already got some imagination going on in that cute little head of hers. And she does love mermaids.
Saturday was the kicker. Spent the whole day preparing the cookies and cake and decorations. I've been wanting to improve my cookie making and decorating skills. I nailed the sugar cookie recipe but the decorating needs work. However, I am not saying they were not cute, they were. Just could have been a little better. We borrowed a bouncy house from a friend and I was worried that Jane wouldn't participate but she did and loved it. So did a lot of her little friends, so success!
Another birthday cake. This one was not too difficult, but the results were fantastic, I loved the way it turned out. When Jane saw it, she made a gasp and said, "Birthday cake (wait for it)... Thank you, mom." This is officially the first time she has said thank you in a way that I didn't feel was automatic. Like when she asks for a treat and I give her one, she'll say it. But this one felt like true thanks. Made me happy whether she meant it or not. And boy did she enjoy that cake (especially the blue icing part).
It was a lot of work but overall I enjoyed planning and hosting the party. Really I love arranging social things, even though I'm not a very social person. Weird, I know. I just like seeing people interact and having fun together, and I like being with friends. Of course a 2 year old party is still mostly for the parents! I had tons of help from Jeff, my mom, and Kaylie, a girl who lives close by and sometimes comes by to say hello to Jane.
This year I picked out the theme way in advance so I could grab things on sale as I saw them. That was highly successful so I'll have to go ahead and decide what I want to do for her next year. Problem is, I don't know what she'll be into a year from now! I'll bet a safe bet is princesses. Isn't that what every 3 year old little girl loves?
Well it's been a great 2 years so far, Baby Jane. I guess I can't call you that anymore, since you are practically a little girl now. You are my favorite little person on the planet and it feels like I've loved you forever. Perhaps I have. It's true that a child makes your heart grow bigger. It seems like my whole heart is yours and yet I love others more too because of being your mom. Motherhood allows me to feel empathy more readily, to be understanding and more patient and compassionate with others and at the same time more kind to myself. I love you so much. I wish I could make time stand still, but at the same time, I know the best is yet to come, and you will always be my little girl. You will teach me more about love than I could ever have learned without you in my life.
On Wednesday, her actual birthday, I let her open a present from Jeff and I but that's about it. We spent some time with Jane's friend Stella in the morning, playing everything from princesses to noodles to 'nap time', then later that day helping a friend clean.
We also went swimming. Lately when I ask if she wants to go swimming, Jane will start saying "Mermaid, swimming." When Jeff asks her to swim she'll say "Mermaid." So I think she's already got some imagination going on in that cute little head of hers. And she does love mermaids.
Saturday was the kicker. Spent the whole day preparing the cookies and cake and decorations. I've been wanting to improve my cookie making and decorating skills. I nailed the sugar cookie recipe but the decorating needs work. However, I am not saying they were not cute, they were. Just could have been a little better. We borrowed a bouncy house from a friend and I was worried that Jane wouldn't participate but she did and loved it. So did a lot of her little friends, so success!
Another birthday cake. This one was not too difficult, but the results were fantastic, I loved the way it turned out. When Jane saw it, she made a gasp and said, "Birthday cake (wait for it)... Thank you, mom." This is officially the first time she has said thank you in a way that I didn't feel was automatic. Like when she asks for a treat and I give her one, she'll say it. But this one felt like true thanks. Made me happy whether she meant it or not. And boy did she enjoy that cake (especially the blue icing part).
This year I picked out the theme way in advance so I could grab things on sale as I saw them. That was highly successful so I'll have to go ahead and decide what I want to do for her next year. Problem is, I don't know what she'll be into a year from now! I'll bet a safe bet is princesses. Isn't that what every 3 year old little girl loves?
Well it's been a great 2 years so far, Baby Jane. I guess I can't call you that anymore, since you are practically a little girl now. You are my favorite little person on the planet and it feels like I've loved you forever. Perhaps I have. It's true that a child makes your heart grow bigger. It seems like my whole heart is yours and yet I love others more too because of being your mom. Motherhood allows me to feel empathy more readily, to be understanding and more patient and compassionate with others and at the same time more kind to myself. I love you so much. I wish I could make time stand still, but at the same time, I know the best is yet to come, and you will always be my little girl. You will teach me more about love than I could ever have learned without you in my life.
Monday, August 5, 2013
Hello New Blog!
I've tried blogs in the past and failed miserably so this will probably be my final attempt. Sink or swim. I saw a friend's blog printed out in book form and it really inspired me. I do think it is so important to document my personal and family history if not for my own sake in remembering it all when I'm old and senile, but for the sake of my children. As a child, and even now, I do love to look back on photos and trinkets of my childhood. I wish we had more family videos to watch, I find that I take a ton of those, maybe to make up for what I thought my childhood lacked. I would like to make time for journaling once a month at minimum, preferably every week. It is definitely something that you have to get into the habit of doing.
For the sake of starting fresh, this is an overview of who I am and what makes me tick:
I am most importantly a family member; I have a wonderful, patient, loving husband who basically lives and breathes to make me happy (at least doesn't let on that there is anything else more important). Second, I also am blessed with an almost-two year old daughter, Jane, who we become more in love with each and every day. Even as the notorious toddler behavior rears its' ugly head, we still continue to cherish her presence in our family. Always a homebody, I enjoy being with my family there, although every now and then we step out to do something fun.
My version of fun is to work on DIY projects around the house, and Jeff goes with it. I have the creative energy and a little technical know-how, though Jeff has more strength and hands-on experience with power tools. We don't have a very large or extravagant home by any means, nor the budget to do the kinds of things I get to do for clients, but I do think that even small things can go a long way, at least in making my home feel more like mine. So, because of this, I often go 'thrifting,' or find things for cheap. I can sew and craft and whatever, it doesn't just have to be 'interiors' projects. Jeff is also pretty proud of some of the things he has been able to build and accomplish around our home, despite maybe rolling his eyes at a few of them. Jane enjoys her time around the house, especially in pulling out toys or other messes, playing outside, and following me around. She loves to get out to the neighborhood pool.
I am an interior designer, specializing in space planning and materials selection for kitchens and bathrooms. I also do contract work for an architect who does small renovation projects at local college campuses. I started my own business in 2009 after losing my first job as a kitchen and bath designer when the company I worked for went under due to the recession. I love my work because it allows me to be creative and work with clients and business associates while also being extremely flexible. I love being the master of my day, and while it does mean inconsistency, I like to think of it as variety! One of my latest new things is that I got to design a custom house for a family friend.
I spend a lot of time devoted to my church family. Three hours a week bare minimum, usually it takes much more time than that to do the other things that need to be done. So, most of my friends are found there because I am either spending my time there or at church. Hoping to change that as Jane gets old enough to participate in some extracurricular activities and meet new faces. The label 'religious' might be applied here, but I just feel that it is a mis-used word. My beliefs are ultimately who I am and make up my core values and morals. In that sense, everyone is 'religious', it just varies on what or who you worship or devote your time and energy to.
I love old british literature, especially romance and murder mysteries, i.e. Jane Austen and Agatha Christie. Also adventure stories. It carries over into the things I enjoy watching as well... I love seeing the costumes and old mannerisms and just the propriety of the old days. It all seems so romantic but at the same time dark and maybe full of despair and repression. Sometimes I wish I could have lived in Victorian era, other times I realize how far we've come and how many advantages I have as a woman living here and now.
Well I suppose I'm getting a little bit too deep into the details, I really just wanted to do a quick summary. More detail can come later if I keep up at this. I doubt friends and family will read this now, but hope it comes to some significance later on!
Andrea
For the sake of starting fresh, this is an overview of who I am and what makes me tick:
I am most importantly a family member; I have a wonderful, patient, loving husband who basically lives and breathes to make me happy (at least doesn't let on that there is anything else more important). Second, I also am blessed with an almost-two year old daughter, Jane, who we become more in love with each and every day. Even as the notorious toddler behavior rears its' ugly head, we still continue to cherish her presence in our family. Always a homebody, I enjoy being with my family there, although every now and then we step out to do something fun.
My version of fun is to work on DIY projects around the house, and Jeff goes with it. I have the creative energy and a little technical know-how, though Jeff has more strength and hands-on experience with power tools. We don't have a very large or extravagant home by any means, nor the budget to do the kinds of things I get to do for clients, but I do think that even small things can go a long way, at least in making my home feel more like mine. So, because of this, I often go 'thrifting,' or find things for cheap. I can sew and craft and whatever, it doesn't just have to be 'interiors' projects. Jeff is also pretty proud of some of the things he has been able to build and accomplish around our home, despite maybe rolling his eyes at a few of them. Jane enjoys her time around the house, especially in pulling out toys or other messes, playing outside, and following me around. She loves to get out to the neighborhood pool.
I am an interior designer, specializing in space planning and materials selection for kitchens and bathrooms. I also do contract work for an architect who does small renovation projects at local college campuses. I started my own business in 2009 after losing my first job as a kitchen and bath designer when the company I worked for went under due to the recession. I love my work because it allows me to be creative and work with clients and business associates while also being extremely flexible. I love being the master of my day, and while it does mean inconsistency, I like to think of it as variety! One of my latest new things is that I got to design a custom house for a family friend.
I spend a lot of time devoted to my church family. Three hours a week bare minimum, usually it takes much more time than that to do the other things that need to be done. So, most of my friends are found there because I am either spending my time there or at church. Hoping to change that as Jane gets old enough to participate in some extracurricular activities and meet new faces. The label 'religious' might be applied here, but I just feel that it is a mis-used word. My beliefs are ultimately who I am and make up my core values and morals. In that sense, everyone is 'religious', it just varies on what or who you worship or devote your time and energy to.
I love old british literature, especially romance and murder mysteries, i.e. Jane Austen and Agatha Christie. Also adventure stories. It carries over into the things I enjoy watching as well... I love seeing the costumes and old mannerisms and just the propriety of the old days. It all seems so romantic but at the same time dark and maybe full of despair and repression. Sometimes I wish I could have lived in Victorian era, other times I realize how far we've come and how many advantages I have as a woman living here and now.
Well I suppose I'm getting a little bit too deep into the details, I really just wanted to do a quick summary. More detail can come later if I keep up at this. I doubt friends and family will read this now, but hope it comes to some significance later on!
Andrea
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Birthday Cards to Me, 2011
Dear Andrea,
You take the cake! Happy birthday, hope you are feeling good and ready for and addition to your family! Sure wish we lived closer to see her- please send photos! She will join Lily and Weston so perfectly! Then Jenni's girl in October and Cheyenne expecting next March! It's hard for me to figure out this news on an Xmas card and Hyrum and Alyssa Petersen's wedding. Ezra will soon be in Frankfurt, Germany for mission. Tyler going to Pocotello to be airplane mechanic. Brandon going to BYU-Idaho. Heber working Burley on Cheyenne's house until mission time. Eric and Katy both graduate BYU-Idaho in December. Hope he can find a job! Dad and I are "ageing approotely"(?) Hot summer has been hard, but thankful for air conditiong and all our blessings, may our Lord bless you through this new experience!
Love, Nana Lael (card by Lori)
You have to schedule an appointment and take me with you to use the pedicure, but I'll pay for a manicure also... before and after the Baby!
With Love, Mom
We love you, Andrea! Thanks for all you do for Jeff. I hope you've had a great birthday.
Love, John and Shelley (Mom and Dad Pack)
I also received cards from Anita, Jim Harris.
You take the cake! Happy birthday, hope you are feeling good and ready for and addition to your family! Sure wish we lived closer to see her- please send photos! She will join Lily and Weston so perfectly! Then Jenni's girl in October and Cheyenne expecting next March! It's hard for me to figure out this news on an Xmas card and Hyrum and Alyssa Petersen's wedding. Ezra will soon be in Frankfurt, Germany for mission. Tyler going to Pocotello to be airplane mechanic. Brandon going to BYU-Idaho. Heber working Burley on Cheyenne's house until mission time. Eric and Katy both graduate BYU-Idaho in December. Hope he can find a job! Dad and I are "ageing approotely"(?) Hot summer has been hard, but thankful for air conditiong and all our blessings, may our Lord bless you through this new experience!
Love, Nana Lael (card by Lori)
You have to schedule an appointment and take me with you to use the pedicure, but I'll pay for a manicure also... before and after the Baby!
With Love, Mom
We love you, Andrea! Thanks for all you do for Jeff. I hope you've had a great birthday.
Love, John and Shelley (Mom and Dad Pack)
I also received cards from Anita, Jim Harris.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
My first Mother's Day
Ah, heck- You're going to be a mom, so you should get a Mothers Day card! Looking forward to the baby! Love, Anita and Frank
We are excited for Baby Pack's safe arrival! This gift is to help you get a new wardrobe. Love, your family! (Mom and Dad)
We are excited for Baby Pack's safe arrival! This gift is to help you get a new wardrobe. Love, your family! (Mom and Dad)
Friday, May 6, 2011
Birthday Wishes for Jeff, 2011
Dear Jeff,
Here is money for a GPS or for a GPS and something else or for something else... clothes or whatever you need. Happy Birthday.
Love, Mom and Dad
They also sent a card... Oh ya and those other three words too... We love you! You're great! Have a great birthday. Love, Mom and Dad
Jeff,
We hope you have a great birthday. Can't wait to see you guys in July. Love, Bryan and Michelle
He received cards from Ethan and Courtney, Anita, Walker parents,
Here is money for a GPS or for a GPS and something else or for something else... clothes or whatever you need. Happy Birthday.
Love, Mom and Dad
They also sent a card... Oh ya and those other three words too... We love you! You're great! Have a great birthday. Love, Mom and Dad
Jeff,
We hope you have a great birthday. Can't wait to see you guys in July. Love, Bryan and Michelle
He received cards from Ethan and Courtney, Anita, Walker parents,
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Easter letter from Grandma Lael, 2011
Dear loved ones,
We are so happy you are going to have a cute little girl! And hope all is going well for you. Be sure to keep us posted! Ezra will go to Frankfurt German mission. Hyrum is marrying "Alyssa" in June at New Port temple. Cheyanne's in Arizona this summer with Hyrum and Heber selling for them. Esther will go there in June to help Cheyenne with her 2 cute little girls. Katy is expecting soon and naming her Lillian Marie Ballestero. She will graduate BYU-Idaho too! I am going to call her Lily, because I like them (lilies) and it is OK with them. Tyler will graduate May High School, also Brandon. He just got Eagle Scout. Michelle expecting boy in July. Weston _? Williamson. Grandpa likes that name. We hope you feeling good and happy. I love you so much and am thankful for your blessing!
Love and Love, Grandma Feller (Nana Lael to your little girl).
We are so happy you are going to have a cute little girl! And hope all is going well for you. Be sure to keep us posted! Ezra will go to Frankfurt German mission. Hyrum is marrying "Alyssa" in June at New Port temple. Cheyanne's in Arizona this summer with Hyrum and Heber selling for them. Esther will go there in June to help Cheyenne with her 2 cute little girls. Katy is expecting soon and naming her Lillian Marie Ballestero. She will graduate BYU-Idaho too! I am going to call her Lily, because I like them (lilies) and it is OK with them. Tyler will graduate May High School, also Brandon. He just got Eagle Scout. Michelle expecting boy in July. Weston _? Williamson. Grandpa likes that name. We hope you feeling good and happy. I love you so much and am thankful for your blessing!
Love and Love, Grandma Feller (Nana Lael to your little girl).
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