Well here we are in Alabama, been here for about a month, although the kids and I had to go back to NC for a couple of weeks because I'm continuing a few jobs up there. Here are the things I love so far:
1. Being in our own home again. The weight of living at home was a heavy burden for me, although I tried to make light of it. It was a great blessing for us to be able to live with my parents for awhile, but it was less than ideal.
2. Small town. Little traffic, kind neighbors and people, sense of community, no large crowds for big events, like the local fireworks show on the fourth that was extremely manageable.
3. Local rec center. Jane was very excited about this, and I am too. A splash pad, indoor and outdoor pools, playground, gym, and other facilities for our use.
4. Small branch. We don't know yet if we will love this or not, but I am open to the idea of it. A small branch of church members can be a blessing.
5. The people. We've already met some great people here. Neighbors and church friends included!
6. Jeff loves his job. It's just what he was hoping to find.
Things that we will have to get used to:
1. Limited amount of stores. Might have to take most of my shopping online, which I've never been crazy about.
2. Limited amount of things to do. I will have to get creative with the kids in order to keep them busy. No more Discovery Place Kids, preschool, botanical gardens, Patterson farms or 10 playgrounds to choose from.
3. Heat and humidity. Yeah, we foolishly thought that North Carolina was hot and humid.
4. Me not working, or working in different ways.
We decided to buy a house here instead of rent, because of it's being a college town and the rent rates being extremely high for the amount of house. We figured we'd basically save about $400/month by buying instead of renting. AND, it gives me the ability to change things out, which, as a designer at heart, is really important for my happiness. We don't have a garage and perhaps that was a mistake but we didn't have a ton of options when we were looking, and we will adjust!
Jane and Evie stayed behind for a week with Nana and Papa, and I was told that Evie really had a hard time with that. It was my first time away from her even for a night. But they made the trip down here happily and seem to be settling in, adjusting to their new house, a new church, new friends, and new pace of life. I know that Jane will have moments where she misses old friends and family, and preschool too. But, I guess we are blessed that she is young and easy to adapt.
Sunday, July 24, 2016
Tuesday, March 1, 2016
An Early Baby
It all started on a dark and stormy night... ha ha... not kidding. During the night at 1pm, Jane came in to say she had heard a noise. Turns out a huge tree had fallen in our driveway during the night, and that's probably what she had heard. There was no rain the previous day, just lots of high winds. Later, Steph would point out that the low pressure probably brought on labor.
I started feeling pain in the wee hours of the morning, February 25th. I was thinking in my sleepy way that perhaps my uterus was about to rupture (doctors warn of this to repeat c-section moms), because the pain was acute and my due date wasn't for another month. But by 5am, the pain was coming in predictable waves, and I was sufficiently awake to recognize that these were contractions. Phew. I waited until 6:30 am to text my doctor, fortunately she is a family friend and I didn't have too much of a hang up on contacting her at that hour, I might have waited longer if I was supposed to contact the hospital directly. She said to come into the hospital. I was a bit surprised, but she assured me that it was probably nothing serious but at only 35 weeks, it was best to be safe. I woke up Jeff at that point and informed him we were going to the hospital. I didn't grab anything but my shoes...I didn't have a bag packed anyhow... and I was so confident that these were just temporary, they'd monitor me and send me home. I went downstairs and told my mom that we were going to the hospital and got kind of frustrated that she was panicking. As soon as I said the word, 'hospital' she was jumping out of bed, 'Are you in labor?' 'Can Jeff stay home?' etc etc. I just told her it was nothing to worry about, they just wanted to monitor me for a bit.
On the way I became more worried as the pain got worse. Jeff was supposed to be leaving for the airport at 9 am that morning for a job interview in another state, and I did NOT want him to miss it. He hadn't even packed yet. Since the hospital was close to an hour away, I knew he'd only have time to drop me off. I texted a friend who lives somewhat on the way to stand in with Jeff for a priesthood blessing. It was a simple blessing, as Jeff's usually are. Although I asked for him to bless that the baby would not come today, he simply said that I would be safe and the baby would be safe and that the Lord knows me and what is best for me. At that point my friend Stephanie offered to take me to the hospital instead of Jeff, so that he could make it to the airport in time. She fully expected a baby, so she was excited at the prospect, and I was just thinking she could take me, they'd check me out, and then I'd have a ride home, that way Jeff could get off on the airplane and mom could stay with the girls that way. I reassured him that I was fine, I'd had two babies before this one, and I would be in good hands with the doctors and nurses whether he was there for the birth or not. It was more important to me at that moment to get him off to that interview.
At the hospital, they monitored my contractions and asked all their questions. My cell phone died and Steph started communicating with my family for me. The nurses stuck me three times before getting the iv in right. I saw my doctor, Holly, briefly; but she was going off her shift. She teasingly chided me for starting labor early. I was dilated to a 3. She expressed that neither she nor the other doctor wanted to see the baby come this early. 35 weeks is not horrible, but not ideal. There is a lot of benefit to be had the last four weeks of pregnancy, and not just weight. She expressed that the main concern with a 35 week baby are whether the lungs are fully developed or not, he may need assistance with oxygen and extra hospital time. He will have more difficulty with breastfeeding coordination. He may have jaundice. Difficulty staying warm because no body fat.
One of the nurses came out and said that I was having a c-section. Upon moving me to a labor room, the nurse had written in bubbly writing under 'Daily Goals': "Bake baby longer! :)" But it appears that the first nurse was mistaken; they weren't eager to move forward with a c-section right away. I called my friend Claire to cancel my baby shower, scheduled for that evening, and to ask if she'd take care of my girls for a few hours while my mom taught a class at the Green School. I was almost laughing on the phone with the irony of it all, happening the day of my shower, the exact day Jeff left town, it just seemed funny. After giving me some pills to slow labor, it looked like the contractions were slowing and I definitely wasn't in as much pain. The iv for fluids was making me have to pee a lot, which was annoying because it was painful to get up and move around, but also, they didn't want me moving around much to help stop the contractions. At this point, I was waiting until 2pm, when they would re-evaluate. At first I wasn't in much pain, just watched tv and slept, Steph in the room with me watching her own shows. I thought for sure it was over and I'd be sent home. They gave me more pills to slow labor, but I wasn't feeling them as much, just dull pain. Apparently I was on some pain killer medication too. At 2 pm, the doctor came in and said she wanted to wait 3 more hours and re-evaluate again, that I was in a holding pattern (I hadn't stopped contractions but they still didn't want to assume delivery). She told me I'd likely stay the night because they didn't want to send me so far home. Steph left at my insistence, and I waited til 5 on my own, with the pain getting worse, contractions picking up again. The worst part of the day was just not knowing whether or not I was going to have the baby. Holly came back and the two doctors decided to go ahead and deliver, since I was in a lot of pain, still having contractions, and dilated to a 4 despite 3 or 4 rounds of pills to halt contractions. Plus I was so far from home. I was relieved to hear this, scared for baby but knowing I could not keep up this level of pain through the night. But, since I had eaten at 3 pm (I had begged to eat, not having eaten since the evening before), I now had to wait until 9 pm for surgery. I was not in excruciating pain, but pain enough that I didn't want to wait 4 hours. Mercifully, the anesthesiologist arrived around 6 pm and asked if he could go ahead and start the epidural early, then just pump up the volume of drugs later on before surgery. Yes please! So 6pm- surgery was fairly pain free, plus I didn't have to move to the bathroom anymore, with a catheter. I wanted to sleep, but couldn't. I was too worried about having a pre-term baby. I wanted him to arrive healthy more than anything. Despite all the cautions, I knew that 35 weeks was at least safe for survival, they would just be disadvantages, nothing life-threatening. I thought when I met him, Charlie would be thin and tiny. I didn't know what to expect after that. I asked for my family to say a prayer for us, but only thought of it right before surgery.
Mom arrived around 7 pm I think, having left the girls at home with a friend who would put them to bed. I sent her to buy a memory card, she would wear the daddy's attire and be in the delivery room with me, so she was also responsible for all photos and video. We went back and I was very calm. I knew what to expect, and tonight I had two doctors who would operate, since one doctor was the one on call, and the other was Holly, who I learned had come in even though she wasn't assigned to work that night. It was so nice to have her consistent reassuring presence. It was right around 9 pm when I was rolled in for surgery and they moved me to the table. The anesthesiologist was a good man, kept our thoughts lightly engaged by telling me how many layers they'd gone through, talking about other things in a light engaging way, but not funny (a good thing, I shouldn't be made to laugh in that condition, I can't imagine what would happen if I did!) My nose itched like crazy because of the oxygen tube. Mom wanted to watch the surgery but was told to sit until they had cut me open and baby was ready to come out, but at that point she watched with obvious interest and not a bit of disgust. Jeff was always too queasy to even see the bloody baby after delivery. I didn't see anything but the bloody water of some kind of vacuum container located right above my head. My hands and arms shook uncontrollably. I felt the familiar pressure of the baby being lifted out, it took more pressure to get him than it did for the girls, maybe because he was smaller? But when I saw a glimpse of him, he didn't look so tiny and thin as I expected. He looked like a normal baby! He cried a bit but not much. He tolerated the nurses working around him, checking his breathing, his oxygen levels, his apgar testing, etc. I cried a tiny bit but not for long. Mostly from relief I think. The nurse held him up for me to see eventually, but didn't bring him over, as had been done with my previous babies. My best view of him came from the review screen on my camera, which mom brought over for me to see. It seemed like it took forever, but they finally got him to me for a few precious moments of skin to skin in the recovery room before taking him away again. I was still shaking uncontrollably and at least one nurse said out loud her concern for my holding him. I hated hearing it. My body began to itch because of the anesthesia. In my final room, they bundled him up and put him in the bassinet, they had to do some other things before letting him nurse.
After this, everything is fuzzy in my mind. I should remember my first moments with my baby but I honestly don't. I do remember I couldn't nurse him very well, or rather, he couldn't nurse me. He had a bottle. I can't remember if I went straight to sleep or stayed awake, but I was tired. I insisted on the things being taken off my legs that were supposed to regulate blood clots, but they itched unbearably at first, preventing me from sleep. I prattled away at a conversation my mom was trying to keep up, but I could hear myself losing control of my answers. She told me I sounded drunk. I remember the rest of that night, being so weak and tired, trying to feed him but not feeling like he got anything, he wasn't latching very well; vaguely remembering my mom in the room holding him at night and me trying to sleep through any crying and feeling guilty that I was letting mom do it, but unable to rouse myself enough to do any more. I've had the feeling before and I was definitely still feeling the effects of the drugs and painkillers, which were making my body even more exhausted. It could also have been loss of blood. Nurses came in and out a lot that night but beats me what for. Mom left at 3 am (I think?). There was no bed or comfy chair in the room and she had to be home before 7 am so Erik could go home, and she also had to take Jane to the doctor in the morning so I knew she wouldn't get much rest. I don't even remember how I handled the rest of that night but I did appreciate my nurse that night; she was in and out a lot, so I think she pretty much handled me, telling me when to feed, then putting baby away when done, changed all his diapers, etc. I think he even had his first bath that night.
So there you go. Steph had me laughing at all of the unfortunates of the day; a storm and tree in the driveway, it being the exact day that Jeff was leaving town, and the day of my shower, the poking at blood veins that couldn't go smoothly, my phone battery dying before we'd even started, the mere fact that I was in labor when this time around I was supposed to have a 'golden ticket' meaning no labor, just surgery this time. But all in all, we came out ok. Charlie is healthy and that's the most important outcome. Jeff eventually got to see him on Saturday morning, a day and a half later. Friends stepped up to care for my girls since mom did some filling in for Jeff. She had the opportunity to be in the labor room, which wouldn't have happened with my choice. So all's well that ends well.
Thursday, November 12, 2015
A Prayer is a Song
For Jane, this is literal. Every night for at least several months, on the days that she actually agrees to pray (because often she refuses), whether over dinner or at bedtime, she insists on singing her prayer. I need to record this somehow, but tonight's prayer song was; "Heavenly Father, while I sleep, please make sure nothing gets me. I don't like being away from my family. I don't like being alone." All sung in the sweetest little girl voice you can imagine without panic in her face or voice, but almost like she's singing about sunshine and daisies. I mean, when I read that over, I'm thinking I should be concerned, and shouldn't have left my scared little girl alone in her bedroom, but honestly, after the prayer song, she gives me a tight hug and a kiss, pulls up her (one! she only wants one!) blanket and rolls over to cuddle with her baby Jane doll. "Night, Jane, I love you." I say. "Night, mom, I love you too" she replies. Oh these moments are the ones I'll miss one day.
Not every moment qualifies. This is, of course, not the normal bedtime occurrence. I don't know if I can put a finger on normal, because every night varies, but last night she had had a long day. She was misbehaving in some way at bedtime, and I told her that she needed to listen or she would go to bed without stories. And then the count to three. I made it to three without a budge from her, so she started running, daddy had to chase her down and pick her up, carry her kicking and screaming up the stairs, she's screaming, "I want stories! I want stories! and crying so loud. I felt bad for Jeff, but it was his turn so I didn't feel that bad. But I did think he might lose his temper. I would have. But you know, Jeff rarely loses his temper. I've seen it happen with the girls maybe precisely twice and both times well warranted. Anyway, I probably would have yelled back or spanked her bottom, but Jeff managed to subdue the crying and get her off to her own bed before she fell asleep without a prayer song or a kiss.
So after my success (or rather, Jane's success) tonight, I stuck my head into the room where Jeff was and simply said; "I win." ;)
I don't pray with Evie at bedtime (she goes down earlier than Jane), but I do sing her some songs, usually "I am a Child of God", "I See the Moon", "Silly Lullaby", "Brahm's Lullaby", but also sometimes I'll throw in something different, like "All the Pretty Little Horses", "Lullaloo", "Stay Awake", "Barges", "I Know my Father Lives." I hadn't ever thought about it before, but I guess my singing to her is consistent enough to be like a prayer before bedtime. At least it's something. And it's an incredible time of the day to bond with her. Wake up and bedtimes are I think the most special parts of the day that allow real bonding to occur. I love in the morning when I go in to get her out of the crib. She's usually cooing and making happy noises or banging on the crib somehow. Sometimes Jane is awake too, but Evie is almost always the first awake. I love the happy wiggles and smiles I get when she sees me. "Hello happy girl!" I always greet her, then she bends down to retrieve a binky, a blanket, a stuffed animal, she likes bringing 'something' with her but it's not always the same thing. On some mornings she'll snuggle into my shoulder as I carry her downstairs for her bottle. Jane has even taken to snuggles in the morning recently, if Evie allows it. Jane usually shows up a bit later, heavily stepping down the stairs so I can hear her, and I call out; "Do I hear a Jane girl?" She pokes her messy head around the corner of the stair landing and says; "Here I am!" or, "It's just me, mom!" I love that we can take our time most mornings (except preschool and Sundays). And night time rituals are just fantastic. Bathtime (on a good day), baby lotion massage for Evie (she loves this), pajamas on, storytime (which both Jane and Evie love, I believe they are developing a love for books, yay!), brush teeth, go potty, then song and rocking for Evie, or prayer, kiss, and nightlight for Jane. I truly cherish these times of day when I can communicate with my girls and cuddle and tickle them and express how much I love them.
And I like to think that Heavenly Father cherishes these moments as well, seeing us greet the day with happiness and ending each one with a prayer song and an "I love you."
Not every moment qualifies. This is, of course, not the normal bedtime occurrence. I don't know if I can put a finger on normal, because every night varies, but last night she had had a long day. She was misbehaving in some way at bedtime, and I told her that she needed to listen or she would go to bed without stories. And then the count to three. I made it to three without a budge from her, so she started running, daddy had to chase her down and pick her up, carry her kicking and screaming up the stairs, she's screaming, "I want stories! I want stories! and crying so loud. I felt bad for Jeff, but it was his turn so I didn't feel that bad. But I did think he might lose his temper. I would have. But you know, Jeff rarely loses his temper. I've seen it happen with the girls maybe precisely twice and both times well warranted. Anyway, I probably would have yelled back or spanked her bottom, but Jeff managed to subdue the crying and get her off to her own bed before she fell asleep without a prayer song or a kiss.
So after my success (or rather, Jane's success) tonight, I stuck my head into the room where Jeff was and simply said; "I win." ;)
I don't pray with Evie at bedtime (she goes down earlier than Jane), but I do sing her some songs, usually "I am a Child of God", "I See the Moon", "Silly Lullaby", "Brahm's Lullaby", but also sometimes I'll throw in something different, like "All the Pretty Little Horses", "Lullaloo", "Stay Awake", "Barges", "I Know my Father Lives." I hadn't ever thought about it before, but I guess my singing to her is consistent enough to be like a prayer before bedtime. At least it's something. And it's an incredible time of the day to bond with her. Wake up and bedtimes are I think the most special parts of the day that allow real bonding to occur. I love in the morning when I go in to get her out of the crib. She's usually cooing and making happy noises or banging on the crib somehow. Sometimes Jane is awake too, but Evie is almost always the first awake. I love the happy wiggles and smiles I get when she sees me. "Hello happy girl!" I always greet her, then she bends down to retrieve a binky, a blanket, a stuffed animal, she likes bringing 'something' with her but it's not always the same thing. On some mornings she'll snuggle into my shoulder as I carry her downstairs for her bottle. Jane has even taken to snuggles in the morning recently, if Evie allows it. Jane usually shows up a bit later, heavily stepping down the stairs so I can hear her, and I call out; "Do I hear a Jane girl?" She pokes her messy head around the corner of the stair landing and says; "Here I am!" or, "It's just me, mom!" I love that we can take our time most mornings (except preschool and Sundays). And night time rituals are just fantastic. Bathtime (on a good day), baby lotion massage for Evie (she loves this), pajamas on, storytime (which both Jane and Evie love, I believe they are developing a love for books, yay!), brush teeth, go potty, then song and rocking for Evie, or prayer, kiss, and nightlight for Jane. I truly cherish these times of day when I can communicate with my girls and cuddle and tickle them and express how much I love them.
And I like to think that Heavenly Father cherishes these moments as well, seeing us greet the day with happiness and ending each one with a prayer song and an "I love you."
Thursday, October 29, 2015
Pregnancy Belly
I realize not everyone, and probably not anyone, wants to hear my thoughts on pregnancy bellies but if you were anything like a pregnant woman, you would be thinking about this at least a couple of times per day. So either go ahead, or skip it!
I am at that awkward stage of pregnancy where my belly either looks like I'm (maybe?) pregnant, or I just have a fat belly. To be honest, it's probably a combination of both. But you know, it's before your pants don't fit, but after you have to start wearing drape-y shirts to hide the awkward little bump and it's not really working anymore.
As a person who is generally comfortable in her own skin, I find the sudden obsession with how big my belly looks a bit disconcerting. Why do I have to suddenly change five times in the morning before I am happy with how I look? I want my belly to get bigger so that I look pregnant instead of fat, but I also don't want this to happen too soon and look like I'm more pregnant than I really am. I really would prefer to just stay skinny and then bam! Around month 7 or 8 look pregnant with the big (but not too big) belly. You know, just a cute little 'basketball' belly as we all have heard it called, which is so rare but so coveted.
So why do I care now when I don't generally care at other times? I think maybe pregnancy puts my feminine hormones into overdrive, and women tend to obsess about weight in general, so maybe I'm more womanly now. But I think it's a problem of mixed messages that women constantly get when pregnant: From the doctor, don't gain more than 20-25 pounds max (most of those at the end term). From peers: It's ok to gain more than that, you're growing a baby! From the radio (heard it a few days ago: Isn't such and such celebrity just the cutest little pregnant lady? From husband: You aren't fat honey, you are large with child... which is so sweetly meant, but translation to a woman: You have a reason to be FAT. From health experts: Eat a, b, and c in plenty, but avoid d, e, and f unless you want your baby to be born sick. Geez, with all this talk, of course women obsess when pregnant, probably more so than any other time. Or is it just me?
The only reason I write my thoughts now, is because I'm supposed to be blogging for our family personal history, and I think I'd like my girls to one day realize that even though I will try to teach them to have a positive body image and self love, that we all have down days, especially us ladies. For me, those days are pregnancy, and definitely, more acutely, post-pregnancy in the weeks and months that you have a much saggier softer middle, where basically it feels like your newborn can snuggle down into a blob of smooshy warm dough for a nice nap. And even though I know it's wrong, I eat ice cream almost every day right now, for some unquenchable reason (although interestingly, although I usually love Oreos, I pretty much can't stand them right now). I also try to make sure I'm eating all the right things throughout the rest of the day for good nutrition so I can cheat every single day. Yeah, I know no one advises that. But hey.
Maybe I should post a pregnant selfie of my belly right now. Um, maybe not. That's for the 'cute little pregnant ladies' with basketball bellies! But, in the interest of posterity's curiosity, I do have two photos hidden away somewhere on a hard drive of my belly on the night before Jane was born, and a few days before Evie came, at my hugest. Which is more enormous, the belly or the responsibility to keep a record? :) The second, obviously (to me), which must be huge.
I am at that awkward stage of pregnancy where my belly either looks like I'm (maybe?) pregnant, or I just have a fat belly. To be honest, it's probably a combination of both. But you know, it's before your pants don't fit, but after you have to start wearing drape-y shirts to hide the awkward little bump and it's not really working anymore.
As a person who is generally comfortable in her own skin, I find the sudden obsession with how big my belly looks a bit disconcerting. Why do I have to suddenly change five times in the morning before I am happy with how I look? I want my belly to get bigger so that I look pregnant instead of fat, but I also don't want this to happen too soon and look like I'm more pregnant than I really am. I really would prefer to just stay skinny and then bam! Around month 7 or 8 look pregnant with the big (but not too big) belly. You know, just a cute little 'basketball' belly as we all have heard it called, which is so rare but so coveted.
So why do I care now when I don't generally care at other times? I think maybe pregnancy puts my feminine hormones into overdrive, and women tend to obsess about weight in general, so maybe I'm more womanly now. But I think it's a problem of mixed messages that women constantly get when pregnant: From the doctor, don't gain more than 20-25 pounds max (most of those at the end term). From peers: It's ok to gain more than that, you're growing a baby! From the radio (heard it a few days ago: Isn't such and such celebrity just the cutest little pregnant lady? From husband: You aren't fat honey, you are large with child... which is so sweetly meant, but translation to a woman: You have a reason to be FAT. From health experts: Eat a, b, and c in plenty, but avoid d, e, and f unless you want your baby to be born sick. Geez, with all this talk, of course women obsess when pregnant, probably more so than any other time. Or is it just me?
The only reason I write my thoughts now, is because I'm supposed to be blogging for our family personal history, and I think I'd like my girls to one day realize that even though I will try to teach them to have a positive body image and self love, that we all have down days, especially us ladies. For me, those days are pregnancy, and definitely, more acutely, post-pregnancy in the weeks and months that you have a much saggier softer middle, where basically it feels like your newborn can snuggle down into a blob of smooshy warm dough for a nice nap. And even though I know it's wrong, I eat ice cream almost every day right now, for some unquenchable reason (although interestingly, although I usually love Oreos, I pretty much can't stand them right now). I also try to make sure I'm eating all the right things throughout the rest of the day for good nutrition so I can cheat every single day. Yeah, I know no one advises that. But hey.
Maybe I should post a pregnant selfie of my belly right now. Um, maybe not. That's for the 'cute little pregnant ladies' with basketball bellies! But, in the interest of posterity's curiosity, I do have two photos hidden away somewhere on a hard drive of my belly on the night before Jane was born, and a few days before Evie came, at my hugest. Which is more enormous, the belly or the responsibility to keep a record? :) The second, obviously (to me), which must be huge.
Sunday, October 25, 2015
Baby (and other) Developments
It's past time for a family status update! I'd like to keep up better with journaling our daily lives, but we may all have to be content with quarterlies.
Our current baby, little Evie, can probably no longer be called that. She turned one on October 2nd. She's been walking since 10-1/2 months, before that too, but not consistently. Now, at almost 13 months, its all she does, the crawling has disappeared. It's sometimes odd for me to look at such a tiny little human toddling around on two feet. She's such a petite little thing, I love her bow-legged walk and her protruding little belly with her innie/outie. Her fingers and toes are long but chubby and so delicate. Her neck is somewhere under that chin but you can't really see it. I have trouble keeping her neck folds clean. I remember that Jane had the same problem. She's got a wonderful smile, now with three teeth poking out, the two bottom ones and a lateral incisor on her left side, with the right side one having just broke through (yes, I had to look up the correct term, I was going to call it a cuspid or a 'fang'). Maybe in time for Halloween this week we'll see more of the second lateral incisor:) Evie has always had fine, thin hair, but lately, with the length, we can see that her hair is in fact not straight, but has a bit of wave or curl to it. I'm crossing my fingers that it stays wavy if not curly. I've always thought that girls with curly hair were so adorable, especially toddlers. The hair above her forehead is still slow to come in though. We may have a mullet problem on our hands soon. My favorite feature of Evie's are her dark, strange colored eyes. They are almond shaped and seem to be soulful, intelligent eyes. I don't know how to describe it, Jane's eyes were always bright and sparkling with fun, and beautiful because of their color, but Evie's just seem mysterious and deep. The color is difficult for me to pinpoint, the closest I can say is gray, but that sounds dull. Some days they look dark blue, sometimes they have a hint of green or brown, other days, maybe just a dark, slate gray. I'm not sure what age babies settle into a final eye color, but lets just say that if they stay this way, she might have difficulty choosing a color at the DMV's office in future. We love our Baby Boo, that's what I've taken to calling her the most. Sometimes Boo Boo or Stinka-boo. I also call her Goosa-Goose, while Jane is Silly Goose when they are being silly. Occasionally, she'll still get called Little Peanut. Her personality is still a bit clingy, preferable to mommy, she loves to be held and snuggled, loves interactive games like Peeka Boo and Little Piggies. She loves playing chase with Jane. She dances all the time.... even to my bad singing and no backup. She's much girlier than Jane was, already loving to carry around purses, put on necklaces, headbands, dress up in her duck towel, more so than Jane did or ever has. She'll pull the baby lotion out for me to put on her after baths, while Jane always wriggled away. She is STILL swaddled to sleep at night. Loves stories being read, or rather, turning pages or lifting flaps, but she definitely has her favorite books. Her favorites recently have been, That's Not my Dragon!, Roar, Baby, Roar!, and Bedtime Kiss for Little Fish. She's a huge food waster. So much food ends up on the floor or in her seat. Like, more than half. I don't know if this is because she is messier, or if it's because she's our second so we gave her a little more freedom too soon. She doesn't talk yet, only uses sounds, but I always seem to know what she wants. Its hard to explain but mommas' know their babies and what they need by so many cues.
In other baby news, we found out on August 1st that we are pregnant! I had maybe one cycle before getting pregnant again, so I was a little surprised. This means, with a March 21st due date, that Evie and the new baby will be a little less than 18 months apart. Which scares me silly. I mean, at least with a three year age gap, I was able to direct Jane to do things and she was pretty self-sufficient at that point. Potty-trained, able to play on her own, have patience and understand how to wait a minute for help. Often, I'd stick her in front of the tv for a show while I took naps with Evie and she did great with this, not getting into things. Anyway, along with the excitement of adding to our family, we are unsure what this will do to us financially. We've been living at home, with me not working much, attempting to pay off some debts, some of which were accumulated for medical bills for Evie. So, the new baby will bring new medical costs. I wish Jeff had a job that would cover good insurance, but I suppose by the time that ever happens, we will be done with kids. I wish that having a baby didn't have to cost thousands of dollars. I do have to have a c-section again, for every child from now on, so that doesn't help costs. Anyway, we hope that it will work out and that one day we will be able to move out on our own again. Right now, it just seems like everything is up in the air and in question. Although I continue to work a little, I don't have as much time as I used to, and that will get even less as I have a third, especially two babies so young. I used to think I wanted to hang onto the business no matter what, and teach my girls how to work in a business when they were older, and earn some extra money. I probably still need to, and still will. What makes me stop and think, is that if I didn't work, the government would pay for Medicare. Its a shame that the government almost encourages people to not work, with incentives like Medicare and food stamps. There is a place for these things, especially seniors who no longer have the ability to work, but I wish that at least healthcare could be somehow pro-rated so that everyone pays based on their income levels, rather than having a set cut-off amount. Wish taxes were done that way. Everyone should pay, but people with more can pay more... but as it is, if you are self-employed you pay a higher rate. If you happen to make $50k instead of $45k (or whatever the cutoff is), you pay taxes but the other person doesn't. Anyway, don't mean to get all political here. My ultimate point is, that finances are so tough to understand and figure out, especially with a baby on the way. We don't know what to anticipate. We just hope that we can move into a place of our own once the baby comes.
We found out that Erik and Ryn are expecting a little girl in April. So, if we end up having a boy, he will be sadly outnumbered. But if we have a little girl, it could be, in Ryn's words, all Little Women around here. It is fun to think about, that the girls (and new baby) will have a cousin nearby. I grew up without any cousins near us, and I envy those families that all stick together and are able to have huge gatherings at every holiday of grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins. It comes with a price, too, but family is a group of people you can always count on, they will be there because they have to be. If you have a falling out, it's not forever. (at least I hope not!)
Our current baby, little Evie, can probably no longer be called that. She turned one on October 2nd. She's been walking since 10-1/2 months, before that too, but not consistently. Now, at almost 13 months, its all she does, the crawling has disappeared. It's sometimes odd for me to look at such a tiny little human toddling around on two feet. She's such a petite little thing, I love her bow-legged walk and her protruding little belly with her innie/outie. Her fingers and toes are long but chubby and so delicate. Her neck is somewhere under that chin but you can't really see it. I have trouble keeping her neck folds clean. I remember that Jane had the same problem. She's got a wonderful smile, now with three teeth poking out, the two bottom ones and a lateral incisor on her left side, with the right side one having just broke through (yes, I had to look up the correct term, I was going to call it a cuspid or a 'fang'). Maybe in time for Halloween this week we'll see more of the second lateral incisor:) Evie has always had fine, thin hair, but lately, with the length, we can see that her hair is in fact not straight, but has a bit of wave or curl to it. I'm crossing my fingers that it stays wavy if not curly. I've always thought that girls with curly hair were so adorable, especially toddlers. The hair above her forehead is still slow to come in though. We may have a mullet problem on our hands soon. My favorite feature of Evie's are her dark, strange colored eyes. They are almond shaped and seem to be soulful, intelligent eyes. I don't know how to describe it, Jane's eyes were always bright and sparkling with fun, and beautiful because of their color, but Evie's just seem mysterious and deep. The color is difficult for me to pinpoint, the closest I can say is gray, but that sounds dull. Some days they look dark blue, sometimes they have a hint of green or brown, other days, maybe just a dark, slate gray. I'm not sure what age babies settle into a final eye color, but lets just say that if they stay this way, she might have difficulty choosing a color at the DMV's office in future. We love our Baby Boo, that's what I've taken to calling her the most. Sometimes Boo Boo or Stinka-boo. I also call her Goosa-Goose, while Jane is Silly Goose when they are being silly. Occasionally, she'll still get called Little Peanut. Her personality is still a bit clingy, preferable to mommy, she loves to be held and snuggled, loves interactive games like Peeka Boo and Little Piggies. She loves playing chase with Jane. She dances all the time.... even to my bad singing and no backup. She's much girlier than Jane was, already loving to carry around purses, put on necklaces, headbands, dress up in her duck towel, more so than Jane did or ever has. She'll pull the baby lotion out for me to put on her after baths, while Jane always wriggled away. She is STILL swaddled to sleep at night. Loves stories being read, or rather, turning pages or lifting flaps, but she definitely has her favorite books. Her favorites recently have been, That's Not my Dragon!, Roar, Baby, Roar!, and Bedtime Kiss for Little Fish. She's a huge food waster. So much food ends up on the floor or in her seat. Like, more than half. I don't know if this is because she is messier, or if it's because she's our second so we gave her a little more freedom too soon. She doesn't talk yet, only uses sounds, but I always seem to know what she wants. Its hard to explain but mommas' know their babies and what they need by so many cues.
In other baby news, we found out on August 1st that we are pregnant! I had maybe one cycle before getting pregnant again, so I was a little surprised. This means, with a March 21st due date, that Evie and the new baby will be a little less than 18 months apart. Which scares me silly. I mean, at least with a three year age gap, I was able to direct Jane to do things and she was pretty self-sufficient at that point. Potty-trained, able to play on her own, have patience and understand how to wait a minute for help. Often, I'd stick her in front of the tv for a show while I took naps with Evie and she did great with this, not getting into things. Anyway, along with the excitement of adding to our family, we are unsure what this will do to us financially. We've been living at home, with me not working much, attempting to pay off some debts, some of which were accumulated for medical bills for Evie. So, the new baby will bring new medical costs. I wish Jeff had a job that would cover good insurance, but I suppose by the time that ever happens, we will be done with kids. I wish that having a baby didn't have to cost thousands of dollars. I do have to have a c-section again, for every child from now on, so that doesn't help costs. Anyway, we hope that it will work out and that one day we will be able to move out on our own again. Right now, it just seems like everything is up in the air and in question. Although I continue to work a little, I don't have as much time as I used to, and that will get even less as I have a third, especially two babies so young. I used to think I wanted to hang onto the business no matter what, and teach my girls how to work in a business when they were older, and earn some extra money. I probably still need to, and still will. What makes me stop and think, is that if I didn't work, the government would pay for Medicare. Its a shame that the government almost encourages people to not work, with incentives like Medicare and food stamps. There is a place for these things, especially seniors who no longer have the ability to work, but I wish that at least healthcare could be somehow pro-rated so that everyone pays based on their income levels, rather than having a set cut-off amount. Wish taxes were done that way. Everyone should pay, but people with more can pay more... but as it is, if you are self-employed you pay a higher rate. If you happen to make $50k instead of $45k (or whatever the cutoff is), you pay taxes but the other person doesn't. Anyway, don't mean to get all political here. My ultimate point is, that finances are so tough to understand and figure out, especially with a baby on the way. We don't know what to anticipate. We just hope that we can move into a place of our own once the baby comes.
We found out that Erik and Ryn are expecting a little girl in April. So, if we end up having a boy, he will be sadly outnumbered. But if we have a little girl, it could be, in Ryn's words, all Little Women around here. It is fun to think about, that the girls (and new baby) will have a cousin nearby. I grew up without any cousins near us, and I envy those families that all stick together and are able to have huge gatherings at every holiday of grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins. It comes with a price, too, but family is a group of people you can always count on, they will be there because they have to be. If you have a falling out, it's not forever. (at least I hope not!)
Finally, an update on our Jane. I definitely do not love one child over the other one, they are both unique and wonderful girls and each has their own special spirit and their own place in my heart. This is my disclaimer for what I'm about to write. Jane is my first child, and as the first, she allows me to have joy in the new things she does (I've never experienced a child doing or saying the adorable things she does or learns!), but at the same time, that means she takes up most of my patience, since I don't have a big picture ahead of where her development should be, etc. Jane and I, we have a special relationship because we are figuring out this whole parent/child relationship together at the same time. I love her joy for life, for doing things she enjoys (but nothing she doesn't!). She likes to be in charge, which is great in some circumstances, like when she befriends complete strangers or helps a sad child feel included, but at other times it is maddening that she thinks she needs her own way. This most often manifests itself while playing with her little sister, and I don't know if I should resign myself to it as normal, or continue to remind her to share, its not YOUR toy, etc, etc and hope she learns. I do want them to get along as they get older, and I'm afraid if I interfere too much, that Jane could resent her little sister, and Evie could learn to play victim. That was definitely the scenario that played out with two of my younger brothers. Jane goes to preschool, a parent co-op one day a week, and two other days with Nana. How lucky we are to have a Nana with her own preschool, and not just a preschool, and outdoorsy experience! She loves the days she can just dig in the sand, have a campfire, play with worms. Not many kids get this kind of experience on a consistent basis. Jane loves play dates, to be around other children. Her main source of joy is social... to interact with others, and to be in charge of others. She even likes to be in charge of adults and children much older than her. She loves to be outside, taking walks to the 'beach', going to the park, just playing in the front or back yard. Today when we asked her to come in for dinner, she responded; "In a minute, I'm singing to the flowers." That's a typical sweet Jane response. Recently, we went in the backyard and she wanted to climb on Nana and Papa's old playhouse, but the ladder is too difficult for her to climb. So me, with my Type 1 personality (full of new ideas but don't always follow through) immediately scoured Craigslist for some free wood to finish out the playhouse for the little girls. I figure its a good thing to do, since after we move, they will still have grandkids visit. Jane is thrilled over the idea. We love her and continue to learn from her and with her. I'm hoping she teaches me enough patience for the children to come to benefit.
On a side note, Jeff and I have been married for over ten years now. We went out to dinner to celebrate. A fancy trip will have to wait for another year. This particular year has been a hard one, I don't think its due to the amount of time, but to having two kids, one very small, and not having a home of our own, but we still love each other and are hanging in there! Going for ten more! (years, not kids or homes)
Friday, June 19, 2015
Lavendar Farm 2015
Thanks to my mom, I found out about this little event, put on by a regular vendor at the Davidson Farmer's market. Her lavendar fields were in Salisbury, so we drove out to check them out. The freshly cut lavender smelled so good, and I learned to make a lavender wand, which is so pretty! I want to plant lavender where I live just so I could sit and make lavender wands for all my friends (and myself!) Not only does it smell fantastic, but it has a lot of uses; sleep aid, laundry spray, even cooking! But my other reason for wanting to go was to get some good pictures of the girls. If I was a professional, I would have figured out a way to get the black tarp out of the shots, or photoshopped it out, but I'm not a professional. Still turned out well I think!
Tuesday, February 24, 2015
Make a Checklist
I read a fascinating article yesterday. To me, at least, because it helps me to match a solution to a problem I've been having. Today is the first day I have done it and it makes a huge difference!
The article was about a lady who deals with depression in her life. It's not something that she feels will ever go away, but that she has learned to cope with. Every evening she makes a checklist of the things that she needs to do the following day, in order of importance. When she wakes in the morning, she has a routine to follow and a list to refer to, in order to keep her going. By having a list, she feels like she is being productive, even just to see an item crossed off as 'done' gives her satisfaction and keeps her from spending the day wallowing away, accomplishing nothing.
Now I wouldn't say that I am depressed, but I've definitely been in a 'funk' ever since Evie was born. I also went through this with Jane, so I think I may suffer somewhat from postpartum depression, but not severe. If I were to describe my state, I'd say that I feel lazy, helpless, unimportant, uninspired, hopeless. My days are 'wasted' away doing menial things like breastfeeding and watching tv shows, spending time on social media, changing diapers, playing with Jane, doing laundry or cleaning. I realize that I've just described the life of every single stay at home mom. But this is my first time actually doing it. With Jane, I went back to work when she was 4 weeks old. And although I never worked full time, I worked for a few hours a day, for at least a few days a week, and it was enough to keep the feeling of uselessness at bay. Now I don't mean to say that being at home is useless. Of course this is far from my belief, I know that moms at home are the best place they can be, because the ultimate goal is to raise our children up to be good adults, and there is no gift more precious than time with our child who will grow up much too quickly. But honestly, it is easy to forget that, day after day of doing the same old tedious tasks.... cleaning up the floor for the third time, changing another spit up on outfit, taking out the trash, giving another bath, reading yet another story, dealing with another tantrum, waiting for naptime to take a shower or even get dressed let alone do my hair. Even writing it out is tedious.
Work brings satisfaction because I can see (almost) immediate results. I am not a patient woman, I like to see things happen. Raising children is so hard because you don't get to see results right away, and when you do, it is subtle, almost unnoticeable. For example, I have seen the result of potty training. But I still don't feel totally safe, like any day she could regress (again). And it took us months and months to get here. Every day I struggle to get her to eat healthy foods, to clean up after herself, to let me do her hair even, to quit whining, to stop smothering her baby sister. I feel like she's not hearing me and I'm not making an effect, and yet I know deep down that it will eventually. All I can do is repeat myself over and over and over and hope for the day that maybe it will sink in.
"God is in the details." I've always loved this quote because it can apply to so many things. So back to this idea of a checklist. I spend too many days without a plan, then even my long-term goals get set on the back burner, because even those take small steps. Such as, family prayer, so they have faith (we always do nighttime prayers at least!). Dinner together as a family so they have a chance to talk and share with us for great relationships (living with folks this is nearly impossible, just because there isn't even a space for us to all sit together). Making healthy meals, so they grow up strong and have good eating habits (I let this slip most days because I just don't enjoy cooking at all). Teaching them to clean up their messes, and other places too, so they have good work ethic (I end up doing all of this haphazardly because it's just easier, and once again, this is difficult while living with parents). Spending time playing with them so we learn how to have fun together. In order to have success with these things, I must plan them into each and every day.
So, my new plan looks like this so far. Morning: For me, time to work, clean, or run errands. Jane has an activity that doesn't require too much of me and on some days allows me to get things done: Mondays, a playdate. Tuesday, Discovery Place Kids or park. Wednesday: Preschool. Thursday: Dance. Friday: Preschool. She has an hour of quiet time or nap time, from 2-3pm. (which is my chance to work again) I then spend at least one hour of dedicated play time with her, from 3-4 pm. Then from 4-5pm try to do something educational, puzzles, games, art, crafts, etc. 5pm TV time for her, make dinner time for me. 6pm is dinner (NO TV!). 7-8pm is bathtime, clean room, brush teeth, etc etc for bedtime. Jane goes down at 8, Evie around 9. Then I clean up the house, do laundry, etc.
That's a general outline for every day. But I'm still going to write down specific tasks that need to be accomplished each day because that's where I can start crossing things off and feeling better about what I'm doing to keep the depressive attitude at bay. I'm already loving the fact that I crossed a few items off my list today. I didn't have 'blog' on my list, but it will feel good to add it after the fact and cross that off too.
The article was about a lady who deals with depression in her life. It's not something that she feels will ever go away, but that she has learned to cope with. Every evening she makes a checklist of the things that she needs to do the following day, in order of importance. When she wakes in the morning, she has a routine to follow and a list to refer to, in order to keep her going. By having a list, she feels like she is being productive, even just to see an item crossed off as 'done' gives her satisfaction and keeps her from spending the day wallowing away, accomplishing nothing.
Now I wouldn't say that I am depressed, but I've definitely been in a 'funk' ever since Evie was born. I also went through this with Jane, so I think I may suffer somewhat from postpartum depression, but not severe. If I were to describe my state, I'd say that I feel lazy, helpless, unimportant, uninspired, hopeless. My days are 'wasted' away doing menial things like breastfeeding and watching tv shows, spending time on social media, changing diapers, playing with Jane, doing laundry or cleaning. I realize that I've just described the life of every single stay at home mom. But this is my first time actually doing it. With Jane, I went back to work when she was 4 weeks old. And although I never worked full time, I worked for a few hours a day, for at least a few days a week, and it was enough to keep the feeling of uselessness at bay. Now I don't mean to say that being at home is useless. Of course this is far from my belief, I know that moms at home are the best place they can be, because the ultimate goal is to raise our children up to be good adults, and there is no gift more precious than time with our child who will grow up much too quickly. But honestly, it is easy to forget that, day after day of doing the same old tedious tasks.... cleaning up the floor for the third time, changing another spit up on outfit, taking out the trash, giving another bath, reading yet another story, dealing with another tantrum, waiting for naptime to take a shower or even get dressed let alone do my hair. Even writing it out is tedious.
Work brings satisfaction because I can see (almost) immediate results. I am not a patient woman, I like to see things happen. Raising children is so hard because you don't get to see results right away, and when you do, it is subtle, almost unnoticeable. For example, I have seen the result of potty training. But I still don't feel totally safe, like any day she could regress (again). And it took us months and months to get here. Every day I struggle to get her to eat healthy foods, to clean up after herself, to let me do her hair even, to quit whining, to stop smothering her baby sister. I feel like she's not hearing me and I'm not making an effect, and yet I know deep down that it will eventually. All I can do is repeat myself over and over and over and hope for the day that maybe it will sink in.
"God is in the details." I've always loved this quote because it can apply to so many things. So back to this idea of a checklist. I spend too many days without a plan, then even my long-term goals get set on the back burner, because even those take small steps. Such as, family prayer, so they have faith (we always do nighttime prayers at least!). Dinner together as a family so they have a chance to talk and share with us for great relationships (living with folks this is nearly impossible, just because there isn't even a space for us to all sit together). Making healthy meals, so they grow up strong and have good eating habits (I let this slip most days because I just don't enjoy cooking at all). Teaching them to clean up their messes, and other places too, so they have good work ethic (I end up doing all of this haphazardly because it's just easier, and once again, this is difficult while living with parents). Spending time playing with them so we learn how to have fun together. In order to have success with these things, I must plan them into each and every day.
So, my new plan looks like this so far. Morning: For me, time to work, clean, or run errands. Jane has an activity that doesn't require too much of me and on some days allows me to get things done: Mondays, a playdate. Tuesday, Discovery Place Kids or park. Wednesday: Preschool. Thursday: Dance. Friday: Preschool. She has an hour of quiet time or nap time, from 2-3pm. (which is my chance to work again) I then spend at least one hour of dedicated play time with her, from 3-4 pm. Then from 4-5pm try to do something educational, puzzles, games, art, crafts, etc. 5pm TV time for her, make dinner time for me. 6pm is dinner (NO TV!). 7-8pm is bathtime, clean room, brush teeth, etc etc for bedtime. Jane goes down at 8, Evie around 9. Then I clean up the house, do laundry, etc.
That's a general outline for every day. But I'm still going to write down specific tasks that need to be accomplished each day because that's where I can start crossing things off and feeling better about what I'm doing to keep the depressive attitude at bay. I'm already loving the fact that I crossed a few items off my list today. I didn't have 'blog' on my list, but it will feel good to add it after the fact and cross that off too.
Trip to Philly 2015
I put the year on here because I have big intentions on going back to Philadelphia while the girls are school age. There are good historical sites and museums to see up there. Plus I'd love to do other parts of the state, such as Hershey, Lancaster.
But, this trip was off the cuff, meant to pick up a vehicle for my grandma Lael. It is a van that will hopefully allow her to get out of the house a bit. So, I grabbed Jeff and the girls and we all drove up together without much incident, although sometimes I really wish that I was driving the car and not being the mommy in the back seat. Unfortunately, I can care for them better than Jeff and we both know it, so I do it, but in some ways I resent it and I wish I could just sit in the drivers seat without the fuss. We actually stopped in Baltimore on the way up because it just got too late. First stop in the morning on Saturday was to the dealership, then we found a hotel and checked in, then made our way to see the Liberty Bell and visitors museum. The building where the bell is housed was closed for renovations so maybe next time we will see it up close instead of through an exterior window. We saw the footprint of the first presidential residence, and made some flat souvenir pennies, that's our new thing. It was COLD outside. For dinner, we went to famous Jim's Steaks. They were good, but honestly, I thought that the cheese steak place we used to have here in Cornelius was better.
On Sunday we made our way to the aquarium. If yesterday was cold, today was worse. Even the short walk from the parking lot to the front door had my face burning with the cold winds, and Jane sobbing the whole way, even in the stroller. Evie was all bundled up tight in her seat with a cover. The coolest thing about this aquarium was the hippo exhibit. And they came up close. We could see them both above and below the water. I've seen hippos at the zoo but only above the water so that was neat. Then we saw sharks. At first Jane was afraid to go in, so we covered her head with a blanket, but she peeked of course and eventually didn't mind the sharks and actually found them interesting and would point out when a big one was coming our way or overhead. After seeing more fish, sharks, manta rays, sting rays, jellyfish, crabs, long-neck turtles, and frogs, and especially after playing on the kid area zones, we made our way to a mega Target on the way home, to look for swimsuits. The Target was kinda cool with the glass facade and elevators/escalators, but inside it was much the same as any other Target. Jane and I found suits, Jeff will just use his gym shorts. Nice to be a guy in situations like that. Jane loved the pool and it was Evie's first time in water other than a bathtub. She seemed to like it too! We spent a good amount of time swimming, Jeff playing with Jane, me holding Evie, and Jeff mentioned that this is the year we should sign up Jane for swim lessons. I agree. Since I didn't want to go out in that cold again, Jeff went out to bring us back hot soup and bread from Panera. Heavenly broccoli cheddar soup. And a cheese pastry. Yum.
Monday was just part of an extended trip, because it was President's Day and I saw that Valley Forge had a special celebration for George Washington's birthday. There wasn't any school on Monday for Jeff so I convinced him to stay on. So glad we did. It was fun to see President Washington and his wife Martha all dressed up for the occasion, we made hats and cards and ate cake. Then we booked it out of there because we knew the day that awaited us....
The rest of Monday was the caravan home. I underestimated what we could do, especially with me being alone in one vehicle with the girls, and no way to comfort Evie when she was crying. Snowstorm "Octavia" hit that day, and we drove to about 6:30pm, near the West Virginia/ Virginia border on 81 before I decided it wasn't going to happen today and we had to stop. The driving conditions were bad and Evie was once again screaming in the backseat. We stayed at a Courtyard, had McDonalds for dinner and I went to swim with Jane some more. The following day the trip was much smoother, we didn't leave until Evie was asleep, then stopped when she was awake to eat lunch, and I refused to leave again til she was asleep. I guess with babies you can't have a time frame for road travel unless you want to lose your mind.
Overall, a great trip. There were sights along the way that looked fun. A natural bridge outside of Roanoke, Virginia. Luray Caverns also in Virginia. Dutch Wonderland, I believe that was near Lancaster area. The small town of Carlisle, PA was adorable. I just wanted to snap photos of all the cute old buildings. I told myself I'd come home and jot all these places down for our next trip up here. I'd probably make it a long trip and try to see sites in Washington DC, Monticello, Mount Vernon, Gettysburg. Heck, we might as well keep driving up to NYC and experience that too. But not for a toddler and a baby. That will be a fun trip for another day!
But, this trip was off the cuff, meant to pick up a vehicle for my grandma Lael. It is a van that will hopefully allow her to get out of the house a bit. So, I grabbed Jeff and the girls and we all drove up together without much incident, although sometimes I really wish that I was driving the car and not being the mommy in the back seat. Unfortunately, I can care for them better than Jeff and we both know it, so I do it, but in some ways I resent it and I wish I could just sit in the drivers seat without the fuss. We actually stopped in Baltimore on the way up because it just got too late. First stop in the morning on Saturday was to the dealership, then we found a hotel and checked in, then made our way to see the Liberty Bell and visitors museum. The building where the bell is housed was closed for renovations so maybe next time we will see it up close instead of through an exterior window. We saw the footprint of the first presidential residence, and made some flat souvenir pennies, that's our new thing. It was COLD outside. For dinner, we went to famous Jim's Steaks. They were good, but honestly, I thought that the cheese steak place we used to have here in Cornelius was better.
On Sunday we made our way to the aquarium. If yesterday was cold, today was worse. Even the short walk from the parking lot to the front door had my face burning with the cold winds, and Jane sobbing the whole way, even in the stroller. Evie was all bundled up tight in her seat with a cover. The coolest thing about this aquarium was the hippo exhibit. And they came up close. We could see them both above and below the water. I've seen hippos at the zoo but only above the water so that was neat. Then we saw sharks. At first Jane was afraid to go in, so we covered her head with a blanket, but she peeked of course and eventually didn't mind the sharks and actually found them interesting and would point out when a big one was coming our way or overhead. After seeing more fish, sharks, manta rays, sting rays, jellyfish, crabs, long-neck turtles, and frogs, and especially after playing on the kid area zones, we made our way to a mega Target on the way home, to look for swimsuits. The Target was kinda cool with the glass facade and elevators/escalators, but inside it was much the same as any other Target. Jane and I found suits, Jeff will just use his gym shorts. Nice to be a guy in situations like that. Jane loved the pool and it was Evie's first time in water other than a bathtub. She seemed to like it too! We spent a good amount of time swimming, Jeff playing with Jane, me holding Evie, and Jeff mentioned that this is the year we should sign up Jane for swim lessons. I agree. Since I didn't want to go out in that cold again, Jeff went out to bring us back hot soup and bread from Panera. Heavenly broccoli cheddar soup. And a cheese pastry. Yum.
Monday was just part of an extended trip, because it was President's Day and I saw that Valley Forge had a special celebration for George Washington's birthday. There wasn't any school on Monday for Jeff so I convinced him to stay on. So glad we did. It was fun to see President Washington and his wife Martha all dressed up for the occasion, we made hats and cards and ate cake. Then we booked it out of there because we knew the day that awaited us....
The rest of Monday was the caravan home. I underestimated what we could do, especially with me being alone in one vehicle with the girls, and no way to comfort Evie when she was crying. Snowstorm "Octavia" hit that day, and we drove to about 6:30pm, near the West Virginia/ Virginia border on 81 before I decided it wasn't going to happen today and we had to stop. The driving conditions were bad and Evie was once again screaming in the backseat. We stayed at a Courtyard, had McDonalds for dinner and I went to swim with Jane some more. The following day the trip was much smoother, we didn't leave until Evie was asleep, then stopped when she was awake to eat lunch, and I refused to leave again til she was asleep. I guess with babies you can't have a time frame for road travel unless you want to lose your mind.
Overall, a great trip. There were sights along the way that looked fun. A natural bridge outside of Roanoke, Virginia. Luray Caverns also in Virginia. Dutch Wonderland, I believe that was near Lancaster area. The small town of Carlisle, PA was adorable. I just wanted to snap photos of all the cute old buildings. I told myself I'd come home and jot all these places down for our next trip up here. I'd probably make it a long trip and try to see sites in Washington DC, Monticello, Mount Vernon, Gettysburg. Heck, we might as well keep driving up to NYC and experience that too. But not for a toddler and a baby. That will be a fun trip for another day!
Friday, January 30, 2015
A Typical Day with my Threenager and 3-Month Baby
It is true in Jane's case that she had a terrific year two, and now a terrible year three. When she is happy she is mostly good, so the key is getting her to sleep enough, however, this is something that she does not think she needs to do, even at night. She's been waking up in the early morning hours and coming in to sleep on the floor in our room. I'm putting my foot down with Jeff that we can't let it happen again, even if it means tears, because it's becoming a habit for her. Jeff has been taking care of Jane issues at night because I take care of Evie. Sometimes they are both up at the same time. But Jeff also usually takes Jane downstairs before work and gets her breakfast and puts on a show. Sometimes he doesn't do this and lets her sleep in. I'm thinking no more sleeping in, either. I feel like she did great as a baby on a regular routine and we've let that crumble since Evie has arrived. And at the same time, Jane's behavior has gotten worse. Let me give you a rundown of typical 'bad' behavior:
5am: Jane comes into our room crying that she is a) afraid of the dark b) doesn't want to be alone c) is not tired. Maybe once in awhile it's because she has to go potty. But she insists that she needs to be in our bed/room. Jeff in the past has let her into bed but invariably she kicks and rolls around, not sleeping at all and not allowing either one of us to sleep. So he gets up and makes her a bed on the floor. The light is on so Evie stirs. She is happy to be on the floor but continues to kick and roll around, keeping at least one of us (me) awake all morning.
6-7am: At the first crack of light, she wakes up and comes to the side of the bed whining that she's hungry. Ok, well I'd feel sorry for the kid if she had in fact eaten her dinner the night before. One of us takes her downstairs, she demands to pick her own cereal, has to have regular milk (no almond milk), with a matching bowl and spoon. She demands to eat in front of the tv on the coffee table which actually drives me crazy but I don't feel like it's something I can control in this house. Same with the cereal and milk she chooses. If we had our own place, there would not be Cocoa Pebbles in the cabinet every day, and there would not be dairy milk in the fridge!
7-10 am: I just let the tv run and try to get ready for the day and get Evie ready for the day. Seems like a ridiculous amount of time, but if I can, I try to sleep in with her as long as she'll sleep (if Jeff has attended to Jane and not me), I like to grab a shower, check my email, have breakfast, feed Evie, make a plan for the day, etc. It's way too much tv but it is just easier with Evie to have Jane out of my hair!
10-2pm: We mix it up. Some days she has preschool from 9 to 1. Thursdays she has dance class 11-Noon. Somedays we play princesses up in her room with Evie on my lap or nearby. Some days we run errands. Occasionally I've left her at home so I can go to appointments. I've arranged several play dates with friends. She is actually usually very pleasant and easy during mid-morning to early afternoon and doesn't demand much and whining is at a minimum.
2-3pm: This is about the time of day where her voice changes from cute to whiny, and she starts to become 'needy', wanting me to do everything for her. "I can't walk!" "I can't do it!" "I'm hungry!" (but won't eat what I offer her), "Don't talk to me like that!" (I've used a perfectly normal voice to ask her to do something she doesn't care to do), "You're making me sad!" (again, asked her to do something undesirable, like, pick up her toys or wash her hands after using the bathroom). She'll start ignoring directions completely and sometimes blatantly disobey them. (Like, when I ask her not to touch Evie, she reaches out a finger to touch her). Since we've always had a rule that happy girls stay up and grumpy girls take naps, she often straightens up her attitude long enough to get out of a nap. On some days I insist that she sleeps because she won't listen, and that always ends in tears and sometimes kicking and screaming on her part, gritting my teeth and using forceful words with her, occasionally a spanking gets her to at least stop kicking and cry herself to sleep. She is never spanked without two warnings. (I count to three).
3-4pm: On good days I get a break if Jane and Evie both go to sleep. This is rare. Usually I'm dealing with a cranky girl that demands to be played with and a baby that demands to be held.
4-6pm: Honestly I don't know how we pass these hours. I guess I'm usually trying to get things done like dishes or laundry, vacuuming, organizing, email, etc and telling Jane to go play by herself which argument seems to last two hours, so eventually I always end up upstairs playing with her. I know this, because most days I am sitting upstairs in Jane's room, straining my ears for the sound of Jeff's car pulling up into the driveway. He's my relief, at least I can dump ONE of the girls on him, if not both. He probably doesn't appreciate it, but I don't care. He's been gone all day doing useful things, with adults. I'm exhausted from doing nothing useful. Being a stay at home mom isn't hard, it's the tedious mundane of feeling like no progress is being made.
6pm: This is when I look at the clock wondering if it's bedtime yet. I also start to think about making dinner. Most days I spend some time cleaning Jane's room or folding laundry. I let Jeff play with the girls and get on the internet for a bit, just to surf, or answer emails, or pay some bills.
7-8pm: Work on getting Jane to bed. It's a process that can take up to an hour! These days bedtime has ended in tears, from her being overtired or overdramatic. It used to be that we could read some stories, say prayers, give hugs, and she'd happily say 'Nite Mom!' and that was that. Now she'll cry and say she doesn't want to be alone, she's hungry, she's thirsty, any excuse to get out of bed.
9pm: Evie goes to bed around this time and once she's in bed I collapse into my own to unwind for the day. I never get anything done late at night after the girls are in bed because I'm too tired and my sleep is so precious to me. Besides, I know that I'll be getting up 3-4 times during the night so I need a headstart for tomorrow!
5am: Jane comes into our room crying that she is a) afraid of the dark b) doesn't want to be alone c) is not tired. Maybe once in awhile it's because she has to go potty. But she insists that she needs to be in our bed/room. Jeff in the past has let her into bed but invariably she kicks and rolls around, not sleeping at all and not allowing either one of us to sleep. So he gets up and makes her a bed on the floor. The light is on so Evie stirs. She is happy to be on the floor but continues to kick and roll around, keeping at least one of us (me) awake all morning.
6-7am: At the first crack of light, she wakes up and comes to the side of the bed whining that she's hungry. Ok, well I'd feel sorry for the kid if she had in fact eaten her dinner the night before. One of us takes her downstairs, she demands to pick her own cereal, has to have regular milk (no almond milk), with a matching bowl and spoon. She demands to eat in front of the tv on the coffee table which actually drives me crazy but I don't feel like it's something I can control in this house. Same with the cereal and milk she chooses. If we had our own place, there would not be Cocoa Pebbles in the cabinet every day, and there would not be dairy milk in the fridge!
7-10 am: I just let the tv run and try to get ready for the day and get Evie ready for the day. Seems like a ridiculous amount of time, but if I can, I try to sleep in with her as long as she'll sleep (if Jeff has attended to Jane and not me), I like to grab a shower, check my email, have breakfast, feed Evie, make a plan for the day, etc. It's way too much tv but it is just easier with Evie to have Jane out of my hair!
10-2pm: We mix it up. Some days she has preschool from 9 to 1. Thursdays she has dance class 11-Noon. Somedays we play princesses up in her room with Evie on my lap or nearby. Some days we run errands. Occasionally I've left her at home so I can go to appointments. I've arranged several play dates with friends. She is actually usually very pleasant and easy during mid-morning to early afternoon and doesn't demand much and whining is at a minimum.
2-3pm: This is about the time of day where her voice changes from cute to whiny, and she starts to become 'needy', wanting me to do everything for her. "I can't walk!" "I can't do it!" "I'm hungry!" (but won't eat what I offer her), "Don't talk to me like that!" (I've used a perfectly normal voice to ask her to do something she doesn't care to do), "You're making me sad!" (again, asked her to do something undesirable, like, pick up her toys or wash her hands after using the bathroom). She'll start ignoring directions completely and sometimes blatantly disobey them. (Like, when I ask her not to touch Evie, she reaches out a finger to touch her). Since we've always had a rule that happy girls stay up and grumpy girls take naps, she often straightens up her attitude long enough to get out of a nap. On some days I insist that she sleeps because she won't listen, and that always ends in tears and sometimes kicking and screaming on her part, gritting my teeth and using forceful words with her, occasionally a spanking gets her to at least stop kicking and cry herself to sleep. She is never spanked without two warnings. (I count to three).
3-4pm: On good days I get a break if Jane and Evie both go to sleep. This is rare. Usually I'm dealing with a cranky girl that demands to be played with and a baby that demands to be held.
4-6pm: Honestly I don't know how we pass these hours. I guess I'm usually trying to get things done like dishes or laundry, vacuuming, organizing, email, etc and telling Jane to go play by herself which argument seems to last two hours, so eventually I always end up upstairs playing with her. I know this, because most days I am sitting upstairs in Jane's room, straining my ears for the sound of Jeff's car pulling up into the driveway. He's my relief, at least I can dump ONE of the girls on him, if not both. He probably doesn't appreciate it, but I don't care. He's been gone all day doing useful things, with adults. I'm exhausted from doing nothing useful. Being a stay at home mom isn't hard, it's the tedious mundane of feeling like no progress is being made.
6pm: This is when I look at the clock wondering if it's bedtime yet. I also start to think about making dinner. Most days I spend some time cleaning Jane's room or folding laundry. I let Jeff play with the girls and get on the internet for a bit, just to surf, or answer emails, or pay some bills.
7-8pm: Work on getting Jane to bed. It's a process that can take up to an hour! These days bedtime has ended in tears, from her being overtired or overdramatic. It used to be that we could read some stories, say prayers, give hugs, and she'd happily say 'Nite Mom!' and that was that. Now she'll cry and say she doesn't want to be alone, she's hungry, she's thirsty, any excuse to get out of bed.
9pm: Evie goes to bed around this time and once she's in bed I collapse into my own to unwind for the day. I never get anything done late at night after the girls are in bed because I'm too tired and my sleep is so precious to me. Besides, I know that I'll be getting up 3-4 times during the night so I need a headstart for tomorrow!
Wednesday, January 28, 2015
Organizing my History
I have a few (ok, several) boxes full of unorganized memorabilia, cards, letters, photos, ticket stubs, travel brochures, etc. I usually just toss anything that has meaning for me into a box thinking that some day I will organize it all. To this day I haven't, and living in two rooms with most of our stuff in storage makes one want to consolidate and get rid of things! (At least for me it does). I think a blog is a useful tool in that I can catalogue all of these items and (to my recent discovery), can choose a publish date in the past. So, I can go through and photograph the MOST important items, and transcribe the words of the cards, letters, allowing me to get rid of the paper clutter. Paperless scrapbooking! Hopefully this will be a success for me. I imagine it will be a work in progress because there is a LOT to catch up on! Wish me luck, I'll be doing this between feedings and naps if Evie and Jane will cooperate!
Saturday, November 8, 2014
Letter to Anita
Dear Anita,
Obviously the new news over here is that we have a now one-month old. I can't believe how the time has gone by. In the blink of an eye and I don't have anything to show for it except a baby girl who is alive and well and beautiful. In other words I haven't been doing much besides nursing, putting to sleep, playing with Jane, and sleeping myself when I can fit it in. I'm just now tiptoeing back into doing some work but my hearts not in it at all. We are living with mom and dad now, so it makes most sense to work hard so we can pay off some debt in order to move out. So I'm still working as best I can. I think my spunk will return after a few months after baby. Hard to make any life altering decisions right now with hormones raging.
Obviously the new news over here is that we have a now one-month old. I can't believe how the time has gone by. In the blink of an eye and I don't have anything to show for it except a baby girl who is alive and well and beautiful. In other words I haven't been doing much besides nursing, putting to sleep, playing with Jane, and sleeping myself when I can fit it in. I'm just now tiptoeing back into doing some work but my hearts not in it at all. We are living with mom and dad now, so it makes most sense to work hard so we can pay off some debt in order to move out. So I'm still working as best I can. I think my spunk will return after a few months after baby. Hard to make any life altering decisions right now with hormones raging.
I hope that you are doing ok after grandpa's passing. I know you two were close. I am glad that at least he has some relief
from his pain like he wanted. I hope
that grandma is ok, I am trying to write her more often. Wish we lived closer so we could visit. I'd like to make another trip out there
before Evie turns two so we only have to pay for 3 tickets. Of course we'd love to come see you too! I always enjoy Frank's meals:). I also hope that you are enjoying your newish
job... (I know you've been at it awhile now).
I also heard that Brent's funeral was beautiful. It seems the last year, more people close to
me have died than ever before in my life.
One of the ladies I used to visit teach died last month, an elderly lady
who I always spoke to at church and she always admired Jane. She kept to herself a lot and I wasn't able
to make the funeral because it was held right after Evie was born. Then my regular delivery guy from Schlabach
(the cabinetry company I sell for) died on one of his trips down to Florida of
a heart attack. It's strange that he is
gone. He was too young, with teenage kids.
He was the kindest man and so talkative and friendly. A close neighbor and friend is giving birth
soon to a child that will die. The
doctors know this because of several heart conditions but also ineligibility
for surgery because the baby has Trisomy 18, of which most babies die right
away if not in utero. It particularly
strikes me hard because Evie was just born so I can't imagine what she is going
through. It's supposed to be a hopeful
and happy time. So with all of this
going on, of course I start to think of my own life and how to live better, and
more for others. If I had known these
people would die soon, I think maybe I would have spent time a little more
tenderly with them without being eager to rush on my way.
We are all well, we take life a day at a time. Love you, wishing you the best fall
season!
Love, Andrea
Love, Andrea
Monday, October 27, 2014
3 weeks old
Evie is now three weeks old. Time has flown by. The first week was divided between 3 days at the hospital and the rest at home recovering. The biggest thing keeping me down was the bladder catheter... so annoying to have to carry it around, sleep with it, shower with it, etc. My mom gave me a shoulder bag to conceal the bag. I don't recall doing anything worthwhile other than feed, feed, feed the baby and browse the internet. Jane has really learned to play by herself, she's been amazing. In fact, it happened on the day I went into labor. She came to ask me to play and I told her I couldn't because I was hurting. She played on her own the rest of the day and didn't ask me again until recently. She's smart enough to know that mommy is busy with a new baby. However, I am trying to play with her as often as I can. Jeff took her to Disney on Ice just two days after Evie's birthday. We didn't plan it that way, but I had bought the tickets thinking of a daddy/daughter outing before the baby came, and it worked out fine after too. But my mom brought me home from the hospital instead of Jeff which was fine but it would have been nice to come home as a family... and to our own home. Our living arrangement is great, but there are some things that are nice to do in a home of your own. Recooperation might be one of those things, but I can't replace the positive aspect of having my mom readily available to occupy Jane or help me if I need it.
Jeff's mom came in on Saturday, October 11th to help out. She didn't want to wait until early December, when we are having the baby blessing. She's been great, allowing me to sleep in with the baby after rough nights, playing with Jane, helping me run errands, cooking dinners, cleaning the kitchen, teaching me to do crochet edging on a baby blanket, making goodies (gingersnaps and coconut chews). She gave us a double stroller for a gift that has already come in handy. She's helped me a ton and Evie doesn't even have any real issues. She's a dream. She sleeps well, eats well and is very laid back, not nearly as sensitive as Jane was. On our errand days she would just sleep the whole time only waking up to eat then go back to sleep. Her issue is fussiness at night, my best guess is due to gas or burps that she has difficulty passing. So we bounce or pat her til she goes back to sleep. When she has these issues she won't nurse, even when hungry.
My friends Josh and Jenny came on separate occasions to pay me a visit which was very nice, and Jane has been to one playdate with her friend Stella. I didn't ask for anything from the Relief Society which I was proud of. I would ask if I did need something, but I felt that I was fully prepared for the baby, with my mom being here to help and my mother in law coming into town. Plus I had some freezer meals ready to go and I had backup playdates lined up. The one thing I didn't think of, was not being able to drive but fortunately I was able to work out all of the crucial doctor's appointments with my mom and mother in law.
I've filled my days with rest and baby-time, rather than cross items off my to-do list. Although I've had to keep track of a few jobs that are wrapping up punch items. It will be interesting to see how having two will shape up from now on. Today is my first day without my mother in law. Guess it's time to get back to real life soon and start being productive.
Jeff's mom came in on Saturday, October 11th to help out. She didn't want to wait until early December, when we are having the baby blessing. She's been great, allowing me to sleep in with the baby after rough nights, playing with Jane, helping me run errands, cooking dinners, cleaning the kitchen, teaching me to do crochet edging on a baby blanket, making goodies (gingersnaps and coconut chews). She gave us a double stroller for a gift that has already come in handy. She's helped me a ton and Evie doesn't even have any real issues. She's a dream. She sleeps well, eats well and is very laid back, not nearly as sensitive as Jane was. On our errand days she would just sleep the whole time only waking up to eat then go back to sleep. Her issue is fussiness at night, my best guess is due to gas or burps that she has difficulty passing. So we bounce or pat her til she goes back to sleep. When she has these issues she won't nurse, even when hungry.
My friends Josh and Jenny came on separate occasions to pay me a visit which was very nice, and Jane has been to one playdate with her friend Stella. I didn't ask for anything from the Relief Society which I was proud of. I would ask if I did need something, but I felt that I was fully prepared for the baby, with my mom being here to help and my mother in law coming into town. Plus I had some freezer meals ready to go and I had backup playdates lined up. The one thing I didn't think of, was not being able to drive but fortunately I was able to work out all of the crucial doctor's appointments with my mom and mother in law.
I've filled my days with rest and baby-time, rather than cross items off my to-do list. Although I've had to keep track of a few jobs that are wrapping up punch items. It will be interesting to see how having two will shape up from now on. Today is my first day without my mother in law. Guess it's time to get back to real life soon and start being productive.
Sunday, October 12, 2014
It's a... GIRL!
I am surprised but not surprised. I've always felt that I'm meant to have a trio of little girls. I won't have complete confidence in my ability of discernment until I have a third, so that's why I picked up a few baby boy clothes in advance... just in case! Plus this pregnancy was so different from Jane's. This time, I was much more sick during the first trimester, had a lot more movement and indigestion the second trimester, and I was so so tired during the third trimester. The baby's heart rate was always on the high side, and I didn't have any swelling this time and I'm pretty sure I was a lot larger around the middle with Jane. Even Jeff agreed, "at risk of being put in the doghouse" he said. "When have I ever put you in the doghouse?" I asked. "Well, never I guess." he responded. I'm pretty sure that's not true, because at I have mentally placed him in the doghouse at least once in our marriage. However, I was probably way too sweet to him about it. It's kinda difficult to be mean to that man. He is always so sweet and loving to me during my bad moments so I try to do the same in return.
Anyway, back to our GIRL! I've had a name picked out since right after Jane was born. I came across the name Evie in the acknowledgements section of a book that I never even finished. But I loved how simple it was. I'm pretty straightforward about names. I find one that I like and I fixate on it. There was really no other name I considered, but lucky for me, Jeff liked it too. Her middle name was up to him. We agreed that if it was a boy he would choose the name and I'd do the middle name. But a girl name... Jeff hadn't considered many of those although he did decide on a boy name (which we don't get to use this time). So I came up with a last minute list of girl names that I thought would go nicely: Josephine, Rae (after my grandpa Val Ray Feller), Rose, Marie (Pack family name), Raychelle (combo of Ray and Shelley, Jeff's mom), Berit, Raine, Harriet. Jeff didn't like Raychelle but he loved it when simplified to Rachelle. I do have a friend with this middle name but that's the only other place I've heard it, but it is also an elegant name. So, basically, we are hoping that Evie Rachelle Pack is a classy and unique but not-too-weird name.
Having a girl keeps life simple for me. I don't have to purchase boy clothes and toys, the girls can play together and pass down their clothes. I don't really need any baby supplies, other than a few things that were worn out after Jane or that I never bought the first time. (This time I think I will invest in a nursing cover and a better sling, maybe some new clothes just for the fun of it.)
I am so thrilled that she has been such an excellent baby so far. She is not as sensitive as Jane was, and has been a great sleeper and fair nurser. Her eyes are just so captivating to me. With her eyes closed, I could swear she looks exactly like Jane did, but those eyes open up and she's transformed. How can eyes make such a big difference? She's only a week old and those eyes tell a story, like she's an old soul. I think I remember similar feelings when Jane was first born. Newborns just have a sense of heaven I guess. We are so glad she is here and safe and healthy. It's still hard to believe she's ours. After my recent miscarriage I have repressed some of the excitement that I had along with my first pregnancy, maybe a bit to protect myself, despite all of the signs that a healthy baby was on the way. Perhaps Evie's gift to me in addition to herself is renewed hope and faith in the possibility of another child in our future, and permission to get excited about that next time.
Saturday, October 4, 2014
Labor and Delivery Story
About 9 or 10am on Wednesday, October 1st, I started labor with this little one... at first I wasn't sure it was labor because I am not due until the 17th! I thought maybe Braxton Hicks, maybe the baby was dropping, maybe it was just pelvic pressure. I texted Jeff around lunchtime to say I 'might' be in labor. I started timing contractions in the afternoon and pretty much knew I was in labor. But I waited until Jeff got home from work, then we waited a bit longer until Nana could get home to watch Jane. We arrived at Rowan Regional Medical Center around 6:30pm that night. The car ride was fine, got through contractions ok. But as soon as I got into the hospital they because almost unbearable. All bravery from my first labor was out the door. All I wanted was an epidural, heck, I even asked for a c-section from the nurse before my doctor, Holly Stevens (an old family friend) even arrived. I was so exhausted physically and I felt that was a bad sign because I hadn't even dilated all the way yet. I had to wait to receive a full bag of fluid before they would give the epidural, man, I watched that bag for what seemed like an eternity to drain. But finally I got the shot and the pain eased away. I was even able to close my eyes and rest for a small period of time before they came in and found I was fully dilated and ready to push. The pushing wasn't very hard, but I only tried 3 or 4 times before the baby's heartrate dropped, so Holly recommended a c-section. The baby's head wasn't even close enough for her to assist with vacuum. Not something ideal anyway, but you get to a point where you don't care how the baby comes out. The prep for the c-section was much longer than it took with Jane. All the doctors and nurses were taking things slowly, deliberately, calmly. It was a lot better that way, because I was able to relax and I think Jeff was too. He came in right before the surgery and sat with me behind the screen that goes up above my stomach. We held hands. I didn't feel as much pressure this time either. With Jane, it felt like they ripped her out of there pretty quickly. With this baby, Holly eased out the head first, slowly, followed by the rest of the body. I also didn't hear crying right away. I knew the baby was out but didn't hear anything, except, "It's a girl, congratulations!" I guess I knew it was ok because of the congrats, but it's nice for a new mom to hear her baby crying at first, just to know it is alive and well. I had to prompt Jeff to get up and go over to take pictures, I am sure he was hesitant because it would mean 'crossing over' to the other side of that screen, but he kept his eyes averted. He is so queezy about that stuff. Anyway, from beginning of labor to delivery, it was about 16-17 hours. That's much better than 32 hours the first time around. Hey, that's almost half the time! So jealous of the ladies who have labor lasting only in the single digits. Since my next baby will have to be a scheduled c-section, I'm pretty sure it will be less than 10 hours... heck maybe I can be in and delivered in just an hour or so! I don't know why my body won't deliver babies naturally, neither do the experts, but they think maybe my pelvis is too small? Glad to be alive when medical help is here for me.
Thursday, July 31, 2014
Pack Reunion in New York, July 2014
We had a wonderful time with family, as always. It is a struggle to get all of the Pack siblings together as they all live in separate areas of the country... New York, Washington state, Utah, and Colorado. Usually we go out west but this year was unique in that everyone made a special effort to get to New York where Mike and Lisa live with their family. We allotted a full week to be there and it still went by way too fast.
We didn't make it too far from home starting out, the car broke down not 30 miles from home so this photo is us in the tow truck making sad faces. But living close to home has some perks, we were able to take my mom's Acura instead and lose only a couple of hours.
We didn't make it too far from home starting out, the car broke down not 30 miles from home so this photo is us in the tow truck making sad faces. But living close to home has some perks, we were able to take my mom's Acura instead and lose only a couple of hours.
We stopped at a rest area just at the Virginia border and I saw a photo opportunity. Glad I did, she really hammed it up for these and that is not usual for her. The typical scenario is me taking tons of photos just to get one that is not blurry or her running from the camera. I do have some great photos of Jane, but you have to realize there are a lot of duds that get deleted!
We stopped in West Virginia and did the same thing. There were signs not to pick the flowers, which of course any 2 year old would disregard. I wonder if I shouldn't do this for every state we visit, but it was easier to cruise on through the other states and when we stopped there weren't any great places to take photos.
Arrival at Mike and Lisa's on Sunday afternoon was low key. Not everyone was there yet, except Mom and Dad Pack, Grandpa Pack, the Bowns and the Lindquists of course. But Monday morning, we wasted no time in getting out on the lake. Lake Seneca is closest to their home, and a friend of theirs was willing to share his boat and his expertise to take out all the menfolk. A couple of the little guys got to go out too, but there was hardly any wind.
Meanwhile, the women, children, and elderly had a nice time on the lakefront, listening to the pier-driver and digging in the sand. The weather was not ideal for sailing perhaps, but it was wonderful lakeside. A perfect cool summer morning without humidity!
On Tuesday, we headed to Niagara Falls. This was one day trip that I was particularly excited about. I'm not sure why, as I have been there before, except that I do remember the trip from my childhood and the memories had grown dim. Needed to relight that part of my brain, and get some awesome photos with Jane there too. My mom had a thing when we were younger, to take us to as many significant sites on roadtrips as we could cram in there. I wish she had taken more photos of the places we saw. All I have now are a few photos here and there but mostly my mind's eye. Weather was again, perfect. A tad windy today (should've swapped sailing days) but the feel of the water blowing off the falls and into my face was pleasant and refreshing. Afterwards we were treated to ice cream by Grandma and Grandpa Pack. Jane found an animal umbrella that she loved. Fortunate for her, she doesn't have one so we felt it was a purchase we could use.
That night we went to eat in town. The restaurant was nice.
From what I recall, Wednesday started out slow. We went looking for things to do. Lisa and I went to some community yard sales. We took a walk around the area with Jane, and let her play on the dock in her bathing suit (no swimming took place, although we did take her on a canoe ride).
We also went to a local Amish store (and found cheese curds!) We met a lovely little girl named Marilee. She showed us her new stray cat friend that they've taken to feeding, and accompanied us around the store. She really was too sweet. I need to raise my little girl like Marilee.
This post is getting awfully long, so I think I'll do a part II next time.
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