Well here we are in Alabama, been here for about a month, although the kids and I had to go back to NC for a couple of weeks because I'm continuing a few jobs up there. Here are the things I love so far:
1. Being in our own home again. The weight of living at home was a heavy burden for me, although I tried to make light of it. It was a great blessing for us to be able to live with my parents for awhile, but it was less than ideal.
2. Small town. Little traffic, kind neighbors and people, sense of community, no large crowds for big events, like the local fireworks show on the fourth that was extremely manageable.
3. Local rec center. Jane was very excited about this, and I am too. A splash pad, indoor and outdoor pools, playground, gym, and other facilities for our use.
4. Small branch. We don't know yet if we will love this or not, but I am open to the idea of it. A small branch of church members can be a blessing.
5. The people. We've already met some great people here. Neighbors and church friends included!
6. Jeff loves his job. It's just what he was hoping to find.
Things that we will have to get used to:
1. Limited amount of stores. Might have to take most of my shopping online, which I've never been crazy about.
2. Limited amount of things to do. I will have to get creative with the kids in order to keep them busy. No more Discovery Place Kids, preschool, botanical gardens, Patterson farms or 10 playgrounds to choose from.
3. Heat and humidity. Yeah, we foolishly thought that North Carolina was hot and humid.
4. Me not working, or working in different ways.
We decided to buy a house here instead of rent, because of it's being a college town and the rent rates being extremely high for the amount of house. We figured we'd basically save about $400/month by buying instead of renting. AND, it gives me the ability to change things out, which, as a designer at heart, is really important for my happiness. We don't have a garage and perhaps that was a mistake but we didn't have a ton of options when we were looking, and we will adjust!
Jane and Evie stayed behind for a week with Nana and Papa, and I was told that Evie really had a hard time with that. It was my first time away from her even for a night. But they made the trip down here happily and seem to be settling in, adjusting to their new house, a new church, new friends, and new pace of life. I know that Jane will have moments where she misses old friends and family, and preschool too. But, I guess we are blessed that she is young and easy to adapt.
Sunday, July 24, 2016
Tuesday, March 1, 2016
An Early Baby
It all started on a dark and stormy night... ha ha... not kidding. During the night at 1pm, Jane came in to say she had heard a noise. Turns out a huge tree had fallen in our driveway during the night, and that's probably what she had heard. There was no rain the previous day, just lots of high winds. Later, Steph would point out that the low pressure probably brought on labor.
I started feeling pain in the wee hours of the morning, February 25th. I was thinking in my sleepy way that perhaps my uterus was about to rupture (doctors warn of this to repeat c-section moms), because the pain was acute and my due date wasn't for another month. But by 5am, the pain was coming in predictable waves, and I was sufficiently awake to recognize that these were contractions. Phew. I waited until 6:30 am to text my doctor, fortunately she is a family friend and I didn't have too much of a hang up on contacting her at that hour, I might have waited longer if I was supposed to contact the hospital directly. She said to come into the hospital. I was a bit surprised, but she assured me that it was probably nothing serious but at only 35 weeks, it was best to be safe. I woke up Jeff at that point and informed him we were going to the hospital. I didn't grab anything but my shoes...I didn't have a bag packed anyhow... and I was so confident that these were just temporary, they'd monitor me and send me home. I went downstairs and told my mom that we were going to the hospital and got kind of frustrated that she was panicking. As soon as I said the word, 'hospital' she was jumping out of bed, 'Are you in labor?' 'Can Jeff stay home?' etc etc. I just told her it was nothing to worry about, they just wanted to monitor me for a bit.
On the way I became more worried as the pain got worse. Jeff was supposed to be leaving for the airport at 9 am that morning for a job interview in another state, and I did NOT want him to miss it. He hadn't even packed yet. Since the hospital was close to an hour away, I knew he'd only have time to drop me off. I texted a friend who lives somewhat on the way to stand in with Jeff for a priesthood blessing. It was a simple blessing, as Jeff's usually are. Although I asked for him to bless that the baby would not come today, he simply said that I would be safe and the baby would be safe and that the Lord knows me and what is best for me. At that point my friend Stephanie offered to take me to the hospital instead of Jeff, so that he could make it to the airport in time. She fully expected a baby, so she was excited at the prospect, and I was just thinking she could take me, they'd check me out, and then I'd have a ride home, that way Jeff could get off on the airplane and mom could stay with the girls that way. I reassured him that I was fine, I'd had two babies before this one, and I would be in good hands with the doctors and nurses whether he was there for the birth or not. It was more important to me at that moment to get him off to that interview.
At the hospital, they monitored my contractions and asked all their questions. My cell phone died and Steph started communicating with my family for me. The nurses stuck me three times before getting the iv in right. I saw my doctor, Holly, briefly; but she was going off her shift. She teasingly chided me for starting labor early. I was dilated to a 3. She expressed that neither she nor the other doctor wanted to see the baby come this early. 35 weeks is not horrible, but not ideal. There is a lot of benefit to be had the last four weeks of pregnancy, and not just weight. She expressed that the main concern with a 35 week baby are whether the lungs are fully developed or not, he may need assistance with oxygen and extra hospital time. He will have more difficulty with breastfeeding coordination. He may have jaundice. Difficulty staying warm because no body fat.
One of the nurses came out and said that I was having a c-section. Upon moving me to a labor room, the nurse had written in bubbly writing under 'Daily Goals': "Bake baby longer! :)" But it appears that the first nurse was mistaken; they weren't eager to move forward with a c-section right away. I called my friend Claire to cancel my baby shower, scheduled for that evening, and to ask if she'd take care of my girls for a few hours while my mom taught a class at the Green School. I was almost laughing on the phone with the irony of it all, happening the day of my shower, the exact day Jeff left town, it just seemed funny. After giving me some pills to slow labor, it looked like the contractions were slowing and I definitely wasn't in as much pain. The iv for fluids was making me have to pee a lot, which was annoying because it was painful to get up and move around, but also, they didn't want me moving around much to help stop the contractions. At this point, I was waiting until 2pm, when they would re-evaluate. At first I wasn't in much pain, just watched tv and slept, Steph in the room with me watching her own shows. I thought for sure it was over and I'd be sent home. They gave me more pills to slow labor, but I wasn't feeling them as much, just dull pain. Apparently I was on some pain killer medication too. At 2 pm, the doctor came in and said she wanted to wait 3 more hours and re-evaluate again, that I was in a holding pattern (I hadn't stopped contractions but they still didn't want to assume delivery). She told me I'd likely stay the night because they didn't want to send me so far home. Steph left at my insistence, and I waited til 5 on my own, with the pain getting worse, contractions picking up again. The worst part of the day was just not knowing whether or not I was going to have the baby. Holly came back and the two doctors decided to go ahead and deliver, since I was in a lot of pain, still having contractions, and dilated to a 4 despite 3 or 4 rounds of pills to halt contractions. Plus I was so far from home. I was relieved to hear this, scared for baby but knowing I could not keep up this level of pain through the night. But, since I had eaten at 3 pm (I had begged to eat, not having eaten since the evening before), I now had to wait until 9 pm for surgery. I was not in excruciating pain, but pain enough that I didn't want to wait 4 hours. Mercifully, the anesthesiologist arrived around 6 pm and asked if he could go ahead and start the epidural early, then just pump up the volume of drugs later on before surgery. Yes please! So 6pm- surgery was fairly pain free, plus I didn't have to move to the bathroom anymore, with a catheter. I wanted to sleep, but couldn't. I was too worried about having a pre-term baby. I wanted him to arrive healthy more than anything. Despite all the cautions, I knew that 35 weeks was at least safe for survival, they would just be disadvantages, nothing life-threatening. I thought when I met him, Charlie would be thin and tiny. I didn't know what to expect after that. I asked for my family to say a prayer for us, but only thought of it right before surgery.
Mom arrived around 7 pm I think, having left the girls at home with a friend who would put them to bed. I sent her to buy a memory card, she would wear the daddy's attire and be in the delivery room with me, so she was also responsible for all photos and video. We went back and I was very calm. I knew what to expect, and tonight I had two doctors who would operate, since one doctor was the one on call, and the other was Holly, who I learned had come in even though she wasn't assigned to work that night. It was so nice to have her consistent reassuring presence. It was right around 9 pm when I was rolled in for surgery and they moved me to the table. The anesthesiologist was a good man, kept our thoughts lightly engaged by telling me how many layers they'd gone through, talking about other things in a light engaging way, but not funny (a good thing, I shouldn't be made to laugh in that condition, I can't imagine what would happen if I did!) My nose itched like crazy because of the oxygen tube. Mom wanted to watch the surgery but was told to sit until they had cut me open and baby was ready to come out, but at that point she watched with obvious interest and not a bit of disgust. Jeff was always too queasy to even see the bloody baby after delivery. I didn't see anything but the bloody water of some kind of vacuum container located right above my head. My hands and arms shook uncontrollably. I felt the familiar pressure of the baby being lifted out, it took more pressure to get him than it did for the girls, maybe because he was smaller? But when I saw a glimpse of him, he didn't look so tiny and thin as I expected. He looked like a normal baby! He cried a bit but not much. He tolerated the nurses working around him, checking his breathing, his oxygen levels, his apgar testing, etc. I cried a tiny bit but not for long. Mostly from relief I think. The nurse held him up for me to see eventually, but didn't bring him over, as had been done with my previous babies. My best view of him came from the review screen on my camera, which mom brought over for me to see. It seemed like it took forever, but they finally got him to me for a few precious moments of skin to skin in the recovery room before taking him away again. I was still shaking uncontrollably and at least one nurse said out loud her concern for my holding him. I hated hearing it. My body began to itch because of the anesthesia. In my final room, they bundled him up and put him in the bassinet, they had to do some other things before letting him nurse.
After this, everything is fuzzy in my mind. I should remember my first moments with my baby but I honestly don't. I do remember I couldn't nurse him very well, or rather, he couldn't nurse me. He had a bottle. I can't remember if I went straight to sleep or stayed awake, but I was tired. I insisted on the things being taken off my legs that were supposed to regulate blood clots, but they itched unbearably at first, preventing me from sleep. I prattled away at a conversation my mom was trying to keep up, but I could hear myself losing control of my answers. She told me I sounded drunk. I remember the rest of that night, being so weak and tired, trying to feed him but not feeling like he got anything, he wasn't latching very well; vaguely remembering my mom in the room holding him at night and me trying to sleep through any crying and feeling guilty that I was letting mom do it, but unable to rouse myself enough to do any more. I've had the feeling before and I was definitely still feeling the effects of the drugs and painkillers, which were making my body even more exhausted. It could also have been loss of blood. Nurses came in and out a lot that night but beats me what for. Mom left at 3 am (I think?). There was no bed or comfy chair in the room and she had to be home before 7 am so Erik could go home, and she also had to take Jane to the doctor in the morning so I knew she wouldn't get much rest. I don't even remember how I handled the rest of that night but I did appreciate my nurse that night; she was in and out a lot, so I think she pretty much handled me, telling me when to feed, then putting baby away when done, changed all his diapers, etc. I think he even had his first bath that night.
So there you go. Steph had me laughing at all of the unfortunates of the day; a storm and tree in the driveway, it being the exact day that Jeff was leaving town, and the day of my shower, the poking at blood veins that couldn't go smoothly, my phone battery dying before we'd even started, the mere fact that I was in labor when this time around I was supposed to have a 'golden ticket' meaning no labor, just surgery this time. But all in all, we came out ok. Charlie is healthy and that's the most important outcome. Jeff eventually got to see him on Saturday morning, a day and a half later. Friends stepped up to care for my girls since mom did some filling in for Jeff. She had the opportunity to be in the labor room, which wouldn't have happened with my choice. So all's well that ends well.
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