For Jane, this is literal. Every night for at least several months, on the days that she actually agrees to pray (because often she refuses), whether over dinner or at bedtime, she insists on singing her prayer. I need to record this somehow, but tonight's prayer song was; "Heavenly Father, while I sleep, please make sure nothing gets me. I don't like being away from my family. I don't like being alone." All sung in the sweetest little girl voice you can imagine without panic in her face or voice, but almost like she's singing about sunshine and daisies. I mean, when I read that over, I'm thinking I should be concerned, and shouldn't have left my scared little girl alone in her bedroom, but honestly, after the prayer song, she gives me a tight hug and a kiss, pulls up her (one! she only wants one!) blanket and rolls over to cuddle with her baby Jane doll. "Night, Jane, I love you." I say. "Night, mom, I love you too" she replies. Oh these moments are the ones I'll miss one day.
Not every moment qualifies. This is, of course, not the normal bedtime occurrence. I don't know if I can put a finger on normal, because every night varies, but last night she had had a long day. She was misbehaving in some way at bedtime, and I told her that she needed to listen or she would go to bed without stories. And then the count to three. I made it to three without a budge from her, so she started running, daddy had to chase her down and pick her up, carry her kicking and screaming up the stairs, she's screaming, "I want stories! I want stories! and crying so loud. I felt bad for Jeff, but it was his turn so I didn't feel that bad. But I did think he might lose his temper. I would have. But you know, Jeff rarely loses his temper. I've seen it happen with the girls maybe precisely twice and both times well warranted. Anyway, I probably would have yelled back or spanked her bottom, but Jeff managed to subdue the crying and get her off to her own bed before she fell asleep without a prayer song or a kiss.
So after my success (or rather, Jane's success) tonight, I stuck my head into the room where Jeff was and simply said; "I win." ;)
I don't pray with Evie at bedtime (she goes down earlier than Jane), but I do sing her some songs, usually "I am a Child of God", "I See the Moon", "Silly Lullaby", "Brahm's Lullaby", but also sometimes I'll throw in something different, like "All the Pretty Little Horses", "Lullaloo", "Stay Awake", "Barges", "I Know my Father Lives." I hadn't ever thought about it before, but I guess my singing to her is consistent enough to be like a prayer before bedtime. At least it's something. And it's an incredible time of the day to bond with her. Wake up and bedtimes are I think the most special parts of the day that allow real bonding to occur. I love in the morning when I go in to get her out of the crib. She's usually cooing and making happy noises or banging on the crib somehow. Sometimes Jane is awake too, but Evie is almost always the first awake. I love the happy wiggles and smiles I get when she sees me. "Hello happy girl!" I always greet her, then she bends down to retrieve a binky, a blanket, a stuffed animal, she likes bringing 'something' with her but it's not always the same thing. On some mornings she'll snuggle into my shoulder as I carry her downstairs for her bottle. Jane has even taken to snuggles in the morning recently, if Evie allows it. Jane usually shows up a bit later, heavily stepping down the stairs so I can hear her, and I call out; "Do I hear a Jane girl?" She pokes her messy head around the corner of the stair landing and says; "Here I am!" or, "It's just me, mom!" I love that we can take our time most mornings (except preschool and Sundays). And night time rituals are just fantastic. Bathtime (on a good day), baby lotion massage for Evie (she loves this), pajamas on, storytime (which both Jane and Evie love, I believe they are developing a love for books, yay!), brush teeth, go potty, then song and rocking for Evie, or prayer, kiss, and nightlight for Jane. I truly cherish these times of day when I can communicate with my girls and cuddle and tickle them and express how much I love them.
And I like to think that Heavenly Father cherishes these moments as well, seeing us greet the day with happiness and ending each one with a prayer song and an "I love you."
