A Typical Day with my Threenager and 3-Month Baby

It is true in Jane's case that she had a terrific year two, and now a terrible year three.  When she is happy she is mostly good, so the key is getting her to sleep enough, however, this is something that she does not think she needs to do, even at night.  She's been waking up in the early morning hours and coming in to sleep on the floor in our room.  I'm putting my foot down with Jeff that we can't let it happen again, even if it means tears, because it's becoming a habit for her.  Jeff has been taking care of Jane issues at night because I take care of Evie.  Sometimes they are both up at the same time.  But Jeff also usually takes Jane downstairs before work and gets her breakfast and puts on a show.  Sometimes he doesn't do this and lets her sleep in.  I'm thinking no more sleeping in, either.  I feel like she did great as a baby on a regular routine and we've let that crumble since Evie has arrived.  And at the same time, Jane's behavior has gotten worse.  Let me give you a rundown of typical 'bad' behavior:

5am:  Jane comes into our room crying that she is a) afraid of the dark b) doesn't want to be alone c) is not tired.  Maybe once in awhile it's because she has to go potty.  But she insists that she needs to be in our bed/room.  Jeff in the past has let her into bed but invariably she kicks and rolls around, not sleeping at all and not allowing either one of us to sleep.  So he gets up and makes her a bed on the floor.  The light is on so Evie stirs.  She is happy to be on the floor but continues to kick and roll around, keeping at least one of us (me) awake all morning.

6-7am:  At the first crack of light, she wakes up and comes to the side of the bed whining that she's hungry.  Ok, well I'd feel sorry for the kid if she had in fact eaten her dinner the night before.  One of us takes her downstairs, she demands to pick her own cereal, has to have regular milk (no almond milk), with a matching bowl and spoon.  She demands to eat in front of the tv on the coffee table which actually drives me crazy but I don't feel like it's something I can control in this house.  Same with the cereal and milk she chooses.  If we had our own place, there would not be Cocoa Pebbles in the cabinet every day, and there would not be dairy milk in the fridge!

7-10 am:  I just let the tv run and try to get ready for the day and get Evie ready for the day.  Seems like a ridiculous amount of time, but if I can, I try to sleep in with her as long as she'll sleep (if Jeff has attended to Jane and not me), I like to grab a shower, check my email, have breakfast, feed Evie, make a plan for the day, etc.  It's way too much tv but it is just easier with Evie to have Jane out of my hair!

10-2pm:  We mix it up.  Some days she has preschool from 9 to 1.  Thursdays she has dance class 11-Noon.  Somedays we play princesses up in her room with Evie on my lap or nearby.  Some days we run errands.  Occasionally I've left her at home so I can go to appointments.  I've arranged several play dates with friends.  She is actually usually very pleasant and easy during mid-morning to early afternoon and doesn't demand much and whining is at a minimum.

2-3pm:  This is about the time of day where her voice changes from cute to whiny, and she starts to become 'needy', wanting me to do everything for her.  "I can't walk!"  "I can't do it!"  "I'm hungry!" (but won't eat what I offer her), "Don't talk to me like that!"  (I've used a perfectly normal voice to ask her to do something she doesn't care to do), "You're making me sad!" (again, asked her to do something undesirable, like, pick up her toys or wash her hands after using the bathroom).  She'll start ignoring directions completely and sometimes blatantly disobey them.  (Like, when I ask her not to touch Evie, she reaches out a finger to touch her).  Since we've always had a rule that happy girls stay up and grumpy girls take naps, she often straightens up her attitude long enough to get out of a nap.  On some days I insist that she sleeps because she won't listen, and that always ends in tears and sometimes kicking and screaming on her part, gritting my teeth and using forceful words with her, occasionally a spanking gets her to at least stop kicking and cry herself to sleep.  She is never spanked without two warnings.  (I count to three).

3-4pm:  On good days I get a break if Jane and Evie both go to sleep.  This is rare.  Usually I'm dealing with a cranky girl that demands to be played with and a baby that demands to be held.

4-6pm:  Honestly I don't know how we pass these hours.  I guess I'm usually trying to get things done like dishes or laundry, vacuuming, organizing, email, etc and telling Jane to go play by herself which argument seems to last two hours, so eventually I always end up upstairs playing with her.  I know this, because most days I am sitting upstairs in Jane's room, straining my ears for the sound of Jeff's car pulling up into the driveway.  He's my relief, at least I can dump ONE of the girls on him, if not both.  He probably doesn't appreciate it, but I don't care.  He's been gone all day doing useful things, with adults.  I'm exhausted from doing nothing useful.  Being a stay at home mom isn't hard, it's the tedious mundane of feeling like no progress is being made.

6pm:  This is when I look at the clock wondering if it's bedtime yet.  I also start to think about making dinner.  Most days I spend some time cleaning Jane's room or folding laundry.  I let Jeff play with the girls and get on the internet for a bit, just to surf, or answer emails, or pay some bills.

7-8pm:  Work on getting Jane to bed.  It's a process that can take up to an hour!  These days bedtime has ended in tears, from her being overtired or overdramatic.  It used to be that we could read some stories, say prayers, give hugs, and she'd happily say 'Nite Mom!' and that was that.  Now she'll cry and say she doesn't want to be alone, she's hungry, she's thirsty, any excuse to get out of bed.

9pm:  Evie goes to bed around this time and once she's in bed I collapse into my own to unwind for the day.  I never get anything done late at night after the girls are in bed because I'm too tired and my sleep is so precious to me.  Besides, I know that I'll be getting up 3-4 times during the night so I need a headstart for tomorrow!

Organizing my History

I have a few (ok, several) boxes full of unorganized memorabilia, cards, letters, photos, ticket stubs, travel brochures, etc.  I usually just toss anything that has meaning for me into a box thinking that some day I will organize it all.  To this day I haven't, and living in two rooms with most of our stuff in storage makes one want to consolidate and get rid of things!  (At least for me it does).  I think a blog is a useful tool in that I can catalogue all of these items and (to my recent discovery), can choose a publish date in the past.  So, I can go through and photograph the MOST important items, and transcribe the words of the cards, letters, allowing me to get rid of the paper clutter.  Paperless scrapbooking!  Hopefully this will be a success for me.  I imagine it will be a work in progress because there is a LOT to catch up on!  Wish me luck, I'll be doing this between feedings and naps if Evie and Jane will cooperate!