3 weeks old

Evie is now three weeks old.  Time has flown by.  The first week was divided between 3 days at the hospital and the rest at home recovering.  The biggest thing keeping me down was the bladder catheter... so annoying to have to carry it around, sleep with it, shower with it, etc.  My mom gave me a shoulder bag to conceal the bag.  I don't recall doing anything worthwhile other than feed, feed, feed the baby and browse the internet.  Jane has really learned to play by herself, she's been amazing.  In fact, it happened on the day I went into labor.  She came to ask me to play and I told her I couldn't because I was hurting.  She played on her own the rest of the day and didn't ask me again until recently.  She's smart enough to know that mommy is busy with a new baby.  However, I am trying to play with her as often as I can.  Jeff took her to Disney on Ice just two days after Evie's birthday.  We didn't plan it that way, but I had bought the tickets thinking of a daddy/daughter outing before the baby came, and it worked out fine after too.  But my mom brought me home from the hospital instead of Jeff which was fine but it would have been nice to come home as a family... and to our own home.  Our living arrangement is great, but there are some things that are nice to do in a home of your own.  Recooperation might be one of those things, but I can't replace the positive aspect of having my mom readily available to occupy Jane or help me if I need it.

Jeff's mom came in on Saturday, October 11th to help out.  She didn't want to wait until early December, when we are having the baby blessing.  She's been great, allowing me to sleep in with the baby after rough nights, playing with Jane, helping me run errands, cooking dinners, cleaning the kitchen, teaching me to do crochet edging on a baby blanket, making goodies (gingersnaps and coconut chews).  She gave us a double stroller for a gift that has already come in handy.  She's helped me a ton and Evie doesn't even have any real issues.  She's a dream.  She sleeps well, eats well and is very laid back, not nearly as sensitive as Jane was.  On our errand days she would just sleep the whole time only waking up to eat then go back to sleep.  Her issue is fussiness at night, my best guess is due to gas or burps that she has difficulty passing.  So we bounce or pat her til she goes back to sleep.  When she has these issues she won't nurse, even when hungry.

My friends Josh and Jenny came on separate occasions to pay me a visit which was very nice, and Jane has been to one playdate with her friend Stella.  I didn't ask for anything from the Relief Society which I was proud of.  I would ask if I did need something, but I felt that I was fully prepared for the baby, with my mom being here to help and my mother in law coming into town.  Plus I had some freezer meals ready to go and I had backup playdates lined up.  The one thing I didn't think of, was not being able to drive but fortunately I was able to work out all of the crucial doctor's appointments with my mom and mother in law.

I've filled my days with rest and baby-time, rather than cross items off my to-do list.  Although I've had to keep track of a few jobs that are wrapping up punch items.  It will be interesting to see how having two will shape up from now on.  Today is my first day without my mother in law.  Guess it's time to get back to real life soon and start being productive.

It's a... GIRL!

I am surprised but not surprised.  I've always felt that I'm meant to have a trio of little girls.  I won't have complete confidence in my ability of discernment until I have a third, so that's why I picked up a few baby boy clothes in advance... just in case!  Plus this pregnancy was so different from Jane's.  This time, I was much more sick during the first trimester, had a lot more movement and indigestion the second trimester, and I was so so tired during the third trimester.  The baby's heart rate was always on the high side, and I didn't have any swelling this time and I'm pretty sure I was a lot larger around the middle with Jane.  Even Jeff agreed, "at risk of being put in the doghouse" he said.  "When have I ever put you in the doghouse?" I asked.  "Well, never I guess." he responded.  I'm pretty sure that's not true, because at I have mentally placed him in the doghouse at least once in our marriage.  However, I was probably way too sweet to him about it.  It's kinda difficult to be mean to that man.  He is always so sweet and loving to me during my bad moments so I try to do the same in return.

Anyway, back to our GIRL!  I've had a name picked out since right after Jane was born.  I came across the name Evie in the acknowledgements section of a book that I never even finished.  But I loved how simple it was.  I'm pretty straightforward about names.  I find one that I like and I fixate on it.  There was really no other name I considered, but lucky for me, Jeff liked it too.  Her middle name was up to him.  We agreed that if it was a boy he would choose the name and I'd do the middle name.  But a girl name... Jeff hadn't considered many of those although he did decide on a boy name (which we don't get to use this time).  So I came up with a last minute list of girl names that I thought would go nicely: Josephine, Rae (after my grandpa Val Ray Feller), Rose, Marie (Pack family name), Raychelle (combo of Ray and Shelley, Jeff's mom), Berit, Raine, Harriet.  Jeff didn't like Raychelle but he loved it when simplified to Rachelle.  I do have a friend with this middle name but that's the only other place I've heard it, but it is also an elegant name.  So, basically, we are hoping that Evie Rachelle Pack is a classy and unique but not-too-weird name.

Having a girl keeps life simple for me.  I don't have to purchase boy clothes and toys, the girls can play together and pass down their clothes.  I don't really need any baby supplies, other than a few things that were worn out after Jane or that I never bought the first time.  (This time I think I will invest in a nursing cover and a better sling, maybe some new clothes just for the fun of it.)

I am so thrilled that she has been such an excellent baby so far.  She is not as sensitive as Jane was, and has been a great sleeper and fair nurser.  Her eyes are just so captivating to me.  With her eyes closed, I could swear she looks exactly like Jane did, but those eyes open up and she's transformed.  How can eyes make such a big difference?  She's only a week old and those eyes tell a story, like she's an old soul.  I think I remember similar feelings when Jane was first born.  Newborns just have a sense of heaven I guess.  We are so glad she is here and safe and healthy.  It's still hard to believe she's ours.  After my recent miscarriage I have repressed some of the excitement that I had along with my first pregnancy, maybe a bit to protect myself, despite all of the signs that a healthy baby was on the way.  Perhaps Evie's gift to me in addition to herself is renewed hope and faith in the possibility of another child in our future, and permission to get excited about that next time.

Labor and Delivery Story

About 9 or 10am on Wednesday, October 1st, I started labor with this little one... at first I wasn't sure it was labor because I am not due until the 17th!  I thought maybe Braxton Hicks, maybe the baby was dropping, maybe it was just pelvic pressure.  I texted Jeff around lunchtime to say I 'might' be in labor.  I started timing contractions in the afternoon and pretty much knew I was in labor.  But I waited until Jeff got home from work, then we waited a bit longer until Nana could get home to watch Jane.  We arrived at Rowan Regional Medical Center around 6:30pm that night.  The car ride was fine, got through contractions ok.  But as soon as I got into the hospital they because almost unbearable.  All bravery from my first labor was out the door.  All I wanted was an epidural, heck, I even asked for a c-section from the nurse before my doctor, Holly Stevens (an old family friend) even arrived.  I was so exhausted physically and I felt that was a bad sign because I hadn't even dilated all the way yet.  I had to wait to receive a full bag of fluid before they would give the epidural, man, I watched that bag for what seemed like an eternity to drain.  But finally I got the shot and the pain eased away.  I was even able to close my eyes and rest for a small period of time before they came in and found I was fully dilated and ready to push.  The pushing wasn't very hard, but I only tried 3 or 4 times before the baby's heartrate dropped, so Holly recommended a c-section.  The baby's head wasn't even close enough for her to assist with vacuum.  Not something ideal anyway, but you get to a point where you don't care how the baby comes out.  The prep for the c-section was much longer than it took with Jane.  All the doctors and nurses were taking things slowly, deliberately, calmly.  It was a lot better that way, because I was able to relax and I think Jeff was too.  He came in right before the surgery and sat with me behind the screen that goes up above my stomach.  We held hands.  I didn't feel as much pressure this time either.  With Jane, it felt like they ripped her out of there pretty quickly.  With this baby, Holly eased out the head first, slowly, followed by the rest of the body.  I also didn't hear crying right away.  I knew the baby was out but didn't hear anything, except, "It's a girl, congratulations!"  I guess I knew it was ok because of the congrats, but it's nice for a new mom to hear her baby crying at first, just to know it is alive and well.  I had to prompt Jeff to get up and go over to take pictures, I am sure he was hesitant because it would mean 'crossing over' to the other side of that screen, but he kept his eyes averted.  He is so queezy about that stuff.  Anyway, from beginning of labor to delivery, it was about 16-17 hours.  That's much better than 32 hours the first time around.  Hey, that's almost half the time!  So jealous of the ladies who have labor lasting only in the single digits.  Since my next baby will have to be a scheduled c-section, I'm pretty sure it will be less than 10 hours... heck maybe I can be in and delivered in just an hour or so!  I don't know why my body won't deliver babies naturally, neither do the experts, but they think maybe my pelvis is too small?  Glad to be alive when medical help is here for me.